Broken

 “Perhaps no one loves the broken in her.” [….click to read the full post]

March 28 2015, 05:31 PM

He never really loved her.

Did he?
If he really did then he would have
cared for the despair she feels.
He would have felt her broken heart,
and seen the tears in her eyes.
He would have thrown away his pride,
and held her tight in his arms.
He would have soothed her sobs. 
And would have whispered in her ear –
“Darling, I am here and it is all going to be alright.”

Perhaps no one loves
the broken in her.

Sept 19, 2017 | 11:27 PM

Perhaps no one loves
the broken in her.

And so the ghost that lives with her
watches her struggle to sleep,
While the pillow soaks her tears
and muffled cries
every time she weeps.

XOXO ♡ 

© Fiona Crystal May 18, 2020 | 02:49 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Only you don’t know…

“Don’t you see what is happening?
I can’t touch you but I still can feel your skin. Only you don’t know…
We already meet.” [….click to read the full post]

If you could see inside my mind,
My lips are kissing yours.
The edges of my tongue tasting you.
Moans escaping from our throat, of the wild kind.
While my fingers are traveling down inch by inch;
Seeking the universe where our galaxies meet.

Don’t you see what is happening?
I can’t touch you but I still can feel your skin.


You aren’t near me, yet I am burning with your heat!
Our breath gets shallow,
My core melts from within.
And so the stars drip from the spaces between.
Oh darling! I found the universe where our galaxies fit. ♡

Only you don’t know…
We already meet.

XOXO ♡ 

© Fiona Crystal Jan 17, 2019 | 04:26 AM 
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

My Wings

“They took my wings away. They took it off my spine and sent me here.” [….click to read the full post]

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They took my wings away.
They took it off my spine and sent me here.
They were afraid that I would break the rules.
That I will fly in front of the mortals.
And then everyone would know!
Everyone would know that beings like us are real.
They were afraid of my impulse.

They despised my heaven filled soul — that could even see goodness in demons.

They were afraid of the depths of my mind — that could reach even the darkness in the Gods.

I was one of their different kind.
My feathers would turn black from white, and white from black in no time.
Faith would rush through my soul and fill my every star dust.
My prayers to our lord, would echo through the million skies.
Passion would flow through my veins.
And the thumping of my heart would deafen their ears.
I was Yin and Yang.
I was a devil and an angel.
I was their darkness and their light at the same time.
So they snatched my wings away and dropped me down.
And here I am free falling.
Still trying to make myself ready for the hit on my body and heart.

I am scared.

XOXO


© Fiona Crystal Feb 18, 2019 | 06:05 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

The Perfect Trance

“How can two different being dance in one perfect rhythm and become one single perfect being in existence!” [….click to read the full post]

It is like the most natural thing in the world for me…
To look into each other’s mind with just our eyes — our souls mating.
To feel your skin rubbing against mine — our bodies touching.
Your lips on me — our mouths kissing.
And your length inside of me — completing me.
You kiss me and I turn into a lava of molten hot liquid.
My legs turns into jelly.
My heart thumping in my ears.
My breath fastens.
And a moan escapes my throat.

How can two different being dance in one perfect rhythm and become one single perfect being in existence!

Devour each other like two eternally hungry beings.
Wild and sweet.
Fast and slow.
Bite and blow soft kisses.
I have been waiting for you since eternity.

Love me into exhaustion.

Let my heart beat accelerate, and my soul burst into bazillion particles of light.
Lift me up to the sky and make me see heaven.
Let the word around me fade in a mistful haze.
Let me feel that absolute bliss.
And let that happy tear escape down my eye.
Darling, love me into perfect trance.

Love me and don’t stop.

Because baby you feel like — Nirvana

XOXO


© Fiona Crystal Dec 09, 2015 | 07:11 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Marriage: Reclaiming My Choice

“Why is this so important? My marriage? If a person is mentally not ready to…” [click to read the full post]

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Why is this so important?
My marriage?

If a person is mentally not ready to get married then why torture them with constant queries?
If they are mentally not prepared then is it right for them to marry just because ‘the clock is ticking’ ?

It is better to be miserable and sip wine alone and read a book, or go party wearing ‘outrageous‘ clothes. It’s better to do that rather than being miserable and cooking chapatis for a family you are just not able to mentally adjust to or to go and sleep with your new spouse even if you are not mentally and emotionally comfortable with them.

And where does this constant string of questions end??
First, do you have a lover, a partner?
Next, when are you getting married?
Then comes more questions!
When are you having a baby?
Then when you have one:
When are you having another baby?
“Your child needs a sibling to play with.”

It never stops.
The questions keep on coming and they never stop.
The questions change.
But never Stop.

Why! I am a human.
It is my life.
I do not want to marry. Ever.
Or just as of now —  

I am not ready.

So what I will hit ‘expiration‘ soon or someday.
Maybe I do not want to have a child.
Maybe I am afraid of not being capable enough to raise a child in this world of chaos.
Maybe I will get my eggs frozen so when I am ready I can have one. Maybe I will just adopt a baby and give them a beautiful life.
Maybe I just do not want to be just another contributor to the earth’s burden of this ever so overflowing human population.

Maybe just maybe I am trying to find my path.

Maybe one day I will come across someone who will fall hopelessly in love with me, who will see the light seeping through the cracks of my body, the darkness clouding my mind.
The hopelessness is visible in my eyes. And the courage of my beating heart fighting all the odds that should have broken me.
Maybe they will hold my hand and will walk along with me on this journey.

Maybe just maybe, when I would find them, I would find myself. Or maybe when I finally find myself again, my heart will lead to them.
And whatever it might be…maybe they will have courage enough to leave the entire chaos of this world behind, build a home with me on the peak of a snow-covered mountain, and hold me while we look together at the rising sun.
Maybe.
And I am just not ready to stop believing that yet.
No matter what anyone has to say.
It is my life.
And I will either live it or die on my terms if I realize that I failed.

But at least I would never regret that I tried.

I am reclaiming my choice. 

Society, judgments and emotional blackmails be damned.

~Just another Girl. XOXO ♡ 


© Fiona Crystal June 09, 2016 | 01:00 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Tragedy Is Not A Competition

“Tragedy is not a competition. Some people are just barely hanging by a thread. Don’t be the one to snap it.” [….click to read the full post]

Tragedy is not a competition.

You don’t know their lives.
You don’t know their hearts
You don’t know their battles.
You don’t know their struggles.
You simply don’t have any fuckin’ clue.

Be kind, and be nice.
Be kind, or shut up.
But atleast stop running your hateful mouth.
Go mind your own damn business.

Some people are just barely hanging by a thread.
Don’t be the one to snap it.
Some people are barely balancing themselves, on the edge.
Don’t be the one to push them.

My Goodness! just leave people the fuck alone.
Stop spilling poison in their lives, and your soul.

Or one day you will be left all alone,
Your heart…bitter and cold,
Suffocating on all that hate you give out to the world,
In a body filled with a rotten soul.

XOXO ♡ 


© Fiona Crystal Nov 14, 2019 | 06:02 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved