Rapists — rape because they think they can.

Rapists rape because they want to. Rapists rape because they think that they can get away with it. They do it because they are confident that the victim will either not survive the act, or if survives, will be too ashamed to report the crime. Rapists rape because they think they aren’t doing anything wrong. They commit that crime because they don’t think of their victims as human beings. They do it because for them it is just an opportunity that they need to grab, do what they want with the victim and have their way with. They do it so that they can tick that off their bucket list of things they want to try.

Most rapists do it because they do not see women as beings worthy of being treated with respect and dignity. They do it because, for them, it isn’t about abusing and humiliating one woman, but womankind as a whole. They do it because of the power rush they feel by asserting control over their victims. They do it because they think that any woman who isn’t their mother, daughter, or sister is just a “walking sex object.” or “non-human (because they are incapable of looking at women other than those related to them by blood as – fellow human being. They do it to their own blood because their perverted needs come first. Rapists rape because they are rapists, rape apologists, misogynists, and have zero clue or care about consent or the trauma that follows their victims.

Rapists rape because they want to — even if the victim is their own child, their own mother. Because their twisted ‘urges’ supersede their own blood ties.

Rape begins the moment the thought of the act occurs in the mind, before the act itself has happened. It begins the moment the individuals grow up in the society that controls and shames and puts the onus of protecting themselves on the women, and come up with excuses for the perpetuators. It begins the moment the individuals realize that they do not need to worry about the consequences of it, but it is the victim who will need to worry about suffering the consequences of it.

But rape is not just the horrendous act itself; it is the mindset that enables it, the belief system that devalues women even before the act is committed. This mindset is deeply entrenched in rape culture, a pervasive social phenomenon that normalizes and excuses sexual violence. It reflects a psychological pattern where women are objectified, their autonomy disregarded, and their experiences trivialized. This culture doesn’t just allow rape; it fosters it, nurtures it, and perpetuates it.

None of this is the fault of the victims and survivors of rape. None of it is because we wear too tight a dress, too short a skirt, are too timid to push them away, too unstable, too drunk, too “bitchy,” too beautiful, too worthless, too young, too old, too frozen, too confused, too asleep, too tired, too stuck up, or too arrogant.

Women are in danger the moment they are conceived: of gender selection. When they are born: of female infanticide. When they are growing up: relentless gender norm conditioning, misogyny, and abuse — emotional, mental, financial, physical, and sexual violence. From childhood to adulthood, women are told what to do and what not to do to please society and men, and to prevent sexual violence from happening to them.

Men, however, from a young age, are often not taught to respect boundaries, accept rejection, practice consent, or treat women with dignity. Instead, they are immersed in a culture that fosters entitlement and disrespect. This system teaches women how not to be raped, as if it’s their responsibility to avoid becoming victims, rather than teaching men to refrain from committing rape in the first place. It’s an egregious failure of our societal values and education systems, and it’s profoundly unjust.

We live in a patriarchal society where power is exercised through rape culture and toxic masculinity, perpetuated by both men and women who are complicit in these harmful norms. This is what we must tirelessly work to dismantle.

And the prevalence of rape culture, and the social mindset of attacking the victim do not stop there! The moment the victim happens to be a man — you can watch the whole world around him crumble and how insanely insensitive the world is to even a man the moment he becomes the victim of rape. That in itself shows how fucked up the world around us is. It will always defend the perpetuators, and the burden of the crime, and the burden of proof — always — is thrown at the victim, for them to sink in deep, instead of a world where the society, the humanity uplifts the victims, applauds the survivors, and educates the world that there is no place in society for rapists.

Rape happens because of rapists and the culture that enables them. To stop it, we must eliminate rape culture and hold rapists 100% accountable for their actions. We must also hold rape apologists accountable and confront the violent, degrading attitudes that perpetuate this crisis.

Educate yourself and educate the boys in your life. Understanding and addressing the root causes of rape culture is a crucial step in ending this violence. It starts with fostering respect, consent, and empathy — qualities that should be fundamental to every human being. Let’s commit to this change and work together to create a world where every person’s dignity is honored and protected.

The guilt, the shame, the disgusts, the suffering that a victim of sexual violence goes through — are the emotions that a perpetuator should be forced to go through. Unfortunately, it will always be the victim – who will either wont survive the crime. Or if they somehow survive they will always have to carry inside of them. Forever carrying the memories of the attack, the violence even in their dreams. Is this okay? In what world should this be okay?

But that is the reality of the corrupt world we live and breath in.

And yet, rapists rape because they know the society will be too busy attacking the victim.

How many more sexual violence crimes are going to happen for the people, the society to understand that – the society and the people that are part of this society, are themselves responsible for these crimes to occur?

You only want to be angry, offended or believe it, if it personally happens to you or someone you love. Or if the perpetrator is someone you hold a negative opinion about. Otherwise, you choose not to believe it, and you victim blame or slut shame the survivor instead. You even choose sides with the accused, if the issue or accused misconduct doesn’t personally affect you in any way. And this is exactly why Rape Culture is so prevalent, and why a lot of people dismiss ‘Me Too’ and the ‘Times Up’ movements, including some women. Because it is difficult to overcome gender bias, or even political bias for that matter, not to forget: stereotypes.

People tend to find it difficult to go against everything they have been conditioned into believing as a ‘non-issue’ and ‘acceptable’. Or grown to think of an accused in a positive way in the past, or if you share an emotional bond with them.

The truth is a person can be a ‘good human’ in one aspect of their life or social circle but a ‘monster‘ in other. This is exactly what happens in Domestic Violence cases & similarly in sexual crimes. In fact, most people know that and still choose to side with the perpetrator. And that is simply because they believe that the perpetrator’s actions has not and will not in any way…affect them. Or their personal bias allows them to find excuses for the wrong behavior — intensify the excuses by including blatant victim blaming, slut shaming, and right away be dismissive of the victims’ truth.

And this the exact reason why some women who have been victims themselves decided to side with/vote for people like Trump (even when he went on record saying —“…Grab them by the pussy…”

Because at the back of the mind of the supporters/voters:

1. It didn’t happen to them.
2. The perpetuators sexual behavior/temper will not affect them directly.
3. They then look the other way.

Similar is the case of other people across the globe accused of sexual misconduct and sexism too — Regardless of the gender.

If the accusations aren’t heard, the crime isn’t taken seriously, or the person reporting the crime is not respected, instead they get attacked, and if the accusations are not properly investigated — well… then there is no way to get justice for the innocent party (whoever it maybe., regardless of gender). And positively, the current trend has picked up where the accused — are being held accountable, immediately!

And no, I am not asking you to blindly believe every accused as — guilty. Because not everyone is. Instead, what I am telling you is this :

Innocent until proven guilty applies to the accused, and for the accusers too.
• So we should either respect the victims and believe them.
• Or don’t take sides and wait for evidence to prove either of them lying.

But we should not call these victims/survivors ‘liars‘ and take apart their character, just for looking for an excuse to put down the blame of what happened to them – on them. i.e. more victim blaming and shaming. Remember, the victims/survivors of sexual violence or domestic violence already go through the trauma, fear, anger, and guilt of it for the rest of their lives. Relieving their trauma in the form of PTSD and other forms of mental health & behavioral issues. It changes their personality and life forever.

And I do know that there are always some people in every part of the world who lie that they are ‘victim’ i.e lie that the crime of sexual voilence happend to them. I am well aware that there are instances where there are actual innocent people/men that are falsely framed for sexual violence crime — that they have not commited. However, these are extremly underwhelming numbers compared to the actual real crimes that get reported. Keep in mind a very low percentage of victims actually end of reporting the crime – and again for that our society, and somewhere people who are part of law enforcemnet and our legal systems are also responsible for it because of their lack of sensitivity, and ignorance, and in most cases their patriarchal minset as well as well. And it is obvious because these are the people that live in the society that has rampant rape culture and patriarchal mindset. Even if we are concerned about the ‘false charges/accusations’ against men — badgering the people who are actually reporting the crime, attacking the ‘alleged victim’ — is no way going to help any innocent.

If we need to keep and ‘open mind’ why is taking the side of the accused, a default- for most people. Anfd no these people who mercilessly attack women for coming forward , actually do not care about well being of men. Because the moment the victim is a man – these people turn their back towards him. Because, have you seen the remarks made by men towards the news of underage boys groomed or forced by a female teacher? “I wish she was my teacher!” or “This boy is so lucky” are just some very common and insensitive comments made by the very same men who seem to only think about ‘wellfare of men’ when it comes to defending men commiting attrocious crimes against women. Or have you seen how the very society looks at a male victim of sexual violence – if the his rapist is also a man? They look down on him as if his masculinity has been snatched and what happened to him erased his manhood.

Therefore, it is critical that people, especially those who themselves are survivors, tread extremely carefully while making their perception and comments about the women (and men) who come bravely forward to tell their story, seeking justice. At any given time, that person could very well be you. And it doesn’t feel good to be humiliated and slut-shamed and called a liar when you are not.

Think for a moment about this: If the victims are telling the truth. If they really are survivors of crimes they are accusing the other person of; and if everyone is victim-blaming them and calling them liars, and laughing at them and talking nonsense about them — Simply imagine the pain and fear they must be in.

And think of what this will tell other victims/ Survivors.

“Keep quiet. Because people will talk shit about you too.” Which people actually do.

This is also why the majority of sex crimes are unreported by victims/survivors of all genders. All you need to do is imagine — How would it feel if someone violated you sexually and the world laughs at you instead?

Every event that involves a survivor of sexual violence speaking up their truth, is watched closely by all others who have been scared to speak up and chose to stay silent. Every precedent, every attitude of people towards the women who speak up is closely observed by every other who was scared of the same thing happening to them. Every victim shaming pushes back survivors of sexual violence/misconduct into further silence. And it needs to stop.

This obsession of finding the perfect victim‘, or attacking the victims who aren’t ‘perfect‘ in their eyes — is an obsession that is the backbone of the rape culture. A perfect victim of rape is a newborn, an infant or a toddler. That still did not, and does not stop a rapist. Society will still try to victim blame the infant’s parents — especially the mother. A ‘perfect victim‘ is still a victim, and so are the other victims and survivors of rape.

“Even I, Medusa, was a victim, framed as a monster by society, and written off in history as a trophy for another man to show off.“

There is a constant victim shaming in the society, towards women who take time to understand the abuse happening to them, or those who take time to report them. And are often blamed for being ‘opportunistic’. There is always one constant curiosity in cases involving repeated sexual misconduct/violence spanning months or years — “Why did she choose to go back into that situation?”etc.

• The answer to that is two words: Power Dynamics.

In these cases, the perpetrators hold the power to make or break the victim. Their entire life and their career. They can cause loss of finances & even make them ‘non-hire-able’ if they dismiss the advances if we talk about workplace harassment or sexual voilence. And advances that mostly start of in a professional setting where the man/woman in power are well admired and wear the mask of ‘leadership’ are often difficult to understand initially when they turn into inappropriate behaviour. Keep in mind the perpetrators attack their victims in ‘phases’.

The same also applies to in day to day setting as well. The perpetuator holding the power, the victim being too terrified. And so it goes.

Also, when it comes to trauma, it is also common that the realization of the gross violence comes slowly upon the victim. Our brain deals with different events differently, and what a a victim goes through during, and after the event of sexual violence is absolutely unique to them. This is basic human psychology.

Besides, as an ‘outsider’ it is easy for us to be dismissive of the victims/survivors who come forward because we lack the compassion or understanding of anything that didn’t happen to ‘us’, an attitude that needs to change immediately; especially in women. If we want to eliminate Rape Culture, that is.

Personally, I have been raising this point over and over again.

I also believe that one of the biggest threat to women (after Patriarchy & rape culture) is — the complicit women — that have been conditioned into normalizing misogyny, next to misogynist men who are torchbearers of Patriarchy. Because complicit women, conditioned into patriarchal social setting…hit rest of the women the hardest. And the women who despite themselves being survivors, support the rape culture, by shaming other survivors — they absolutely do the most damage.

They are the hands that hold you down the strongest, while misogynistic toxic men break your spine. And so the sexism enablers — regardless of their gender — need to be outed. No mercy

The men in power subjugate women and strip women of all basic freedom and power, to the point of dehumanizing them. I blame misogyny, systematic sexism, and outdated Gender norms, rape culture, and rape apologists for this.

The truth is : The people who rape, harass, assault, abuse their victims — are going to be ordinary people you are friends with, you grow up with, you are related to; they are not visible monsters with horns that you can easily identify — until someone becomes their victim. Then the victim meets the monster. While for you, the ‘monster‘ remains a normal loving person; seemingly ‘incapable‘ of grossly violating someone. Yes, ‘harmless‘, for you, atleast for now.

The Mahisasuras live amongst us. And yet we neither acknowledge, nor invoke the Goddess Shakti that live within us — the mother of all the energy in the universe —to slay the monsters that live amongst us, and within us. The society is complicit. This is why rape culture don’t just exist, but it is thriving!

From the monsters who did absolutely evil and inhumane things to the sweet 17 year old Junko Furuta in 1989 — to the horrors done to Fan Man-Yee in 1991 — to the monsters that committed the horrendous crime that took the life of Nirbhaya (Jyoti Singh) in 2012 in a moving bus — to the monsters that violated and killed Moumita Debnath in 2024 in a hospital — to what the monster who was supposed to protect her as her family, her husband did to Gisèle Pélicot. Gisèle who over a period of nine ears, from July 2011 to October 2020, was raped 92 times by 72 men, as her husband repeatedly drugged, raped her, and invited strangers to rape her while she was unconscious and also filmed the abuse — not to forget every single sexual violence that has happened and continous to happen every single day —what exactly has changed?

Absolutely nothing.

Rapists still exists. They are still cruel. They are still fearless. They still do not see their victims as human beings. They still think that attacking their victim is their symbolism of attacking all of the women. They still know that there will uglier consequences faced their victims and the victim’s loved ones — compared to them, the perpetuators. The rapists still have a society that will somehow try to either dismiss the crime, or will find faults in the victims.

The society still puts the burden of responsibility of both – not getting raped and getting raped on the girls and women. The people still try to control young girls and women — regarding who they talk to, what they wear, what time they go out, what age they marry, how they behave — so that their girls and women do not get raped. They still pray that another girl, another women be the victim in the place of the girls/women in their family. The society still does not attack, or try to control the actual individuals because of whom rape happens- you know…the actual rapists?

The future rapists look around, and smile and still know that the society they live in will have their back. Because the society still will be too busy controlling and destroying women. Because they see how society treats the victims of sexual violence. The future rapists look around and are taking notes that the actual victims are suffering from the burden of the crimes done to them, while the rapists — well no one cares what they do.

It is always the news headline — “Women got raped.” But never a “This monster raped a woman”. The article is always about what she was doing, where she was going, the time it happened, what she was wearing. The article is never about what the rapist was doing, what he was wearing, what signs he gave in the past that could predict that he was capable of committing such a crime. Do his family support his actions? If “yes‘, then why and what we can learn from it in terms of ‘rape culture‘. There is never enough accountability at the perpetrator, and too much blame towards the victim.

And the society then uses the incident, not to ensure that future rapes do not take place, to prevent any future rapists. No. They use these incidents to exercise more control on women, to take away women’s and young girl’s control on their autonomy. While not realising the irony behind it all – that rape in itself is a crime against the autonomy of the victim!

So, we continue to live in a world, where neither an infant is safe from rapists, nor a women’s dead corps.

And so it goes, women will continue choosing the bear.

“Shame must change sides”

“Shame must change sides” — Gisèle Halimi, a prominent French lawyer, feminist, and activist who was instrumental in fighting for women’s rights, particularly in cases related to sexual violence. Halimi used this phrase during a landmark trial in 1978 to argue that it was not the victims of rape who should bear the shame, but the perpetrators. This case became significant in changing public perceptions of rape and sexual violence in France.

Shame should shift from the victims of sexual violence to the perpetrators.

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Sept 16, 2024 09:11 PM | 𝙛𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨.𝙘𝙤𝙢