If a person is mentally not ready to get married then why torture them with constant queries?
If they are mentally not prepared then is it right for them to marry just because ‘the clock is ticking’ ?
It is better to be miserable and sip wine alone and read a book, or go party wearing ‘outrageous‘ clothes. It’s better to do that rather than being miserable and cooking chapatis for a family you are just not able to mentally adjust to or to go and sleep with your new spouse even if you are not mentally and emotionally comfortable with them.
And where does this constant string of questions end??
First, do you have a lover, a partner?
Next, when are you getting married?
Then comes more questions!
When are you having a baby?
Then when you have one:
When are you having another baby? “Your child needs a sibling to play with.”
It never stops.
The questions keep on coming and they never stop.
The questions change. But never Stop.
Why! I am a human.
It is my life.
I do not want to marry. Ever.
Or just as of now —
I am not ready.
So what I will hit ‘expiration‘ soon or someday.
Maybe I do not want to have a child.
Maybe I am afraid of not being capable enough to raise a child in this world of chaos.
Maybe I will get my eggs frozen so when I am ready I can have one. Maybe I will just adopt a baby and give them a beautiful life.
Maybe I just do not want to be just another contributor to the earth’s burden of this ever so overflowing human population.
Maybe just maybe I am trying to find my path.
Maybe one day I will come across someone who will fall hopelessly in love with me, who will see the light seeping through the cracks of my body, the darkness clouding my mind.
The hopelessness is visible in my eyes. And the courage of my beating heart fighting all the odds that should have broken me.
Maybe they will hold my hand and will walk along with me on this journey.
Maybe just maybe, when I would find them, I would find myself. Or maybe when I finally find myself again, my heart will lead to them.
And whatever it might be…maybe they will have courage enough to leave the entire chaos of this world behind, build a home with me on the peak of a snow-covered mountain, and hold me while we look together at the rising sun. Maybe.
And I am just not ready to stop believing that yet.
No matter what anyone has to say. It is my life.
And I will either live it or die on my terms if I realize that I failed.
But at least I would never regret that I tried.
I am reclaiming my choice.
Society, judgments and emotional blackmails be damned.
Live by the sun. ☀
Soak every moment of bliss,
Learn from every fragment of pain.
Let those tears mix with your stardust.
Smack it on your skin and call it your strength.
Love, pray, then love again so deeply they call it a — sin.
Use that forbidden magic to invoke your inner Goddess.
Uplift yourself higher,
Into a consciousness beyond space and time.
You don’t need to explain yourself or operate on other’s energy.
My wild thing, don’t stop.
Don’t be ashamed.
You make the universe happy.
You make the holy mother proud.
Go celebrate your Goddess within.
Thump your chest.
Run in the wild.
Love by the Moon. ☽🌕☾ Howl.
Love • Pray • Love ∞ Repeat
|| अहं ब्रह्म अस्मि || (Ahaṁ Brahmāsmi) 🕉
“I am Brahman, the supreme reality. I am the Goddess”
“All things are temporary, even this pain. And so, this too shall pass.” — This raw piece is about healing from toxic relationships. The subject is sensitive, emotional, yet uplifting and empowering. [….click to read the full post]
The article mentioned above is a raw piece about toxic relationships. The subject is dark, sensitive and emotional for all the obvious reasons.Therefore, reader discretion is advised.
July 26, 2019 | 03:00 AM
‘I AM ENOUGH’ — Part 2: HEALING
This raw piece is about healing from toxic relationships. The subject is sensitive, emotional, yet uplifting and empowering.
So many times I have heard that I am not enough. That I will never be enough.
I have heard that I am broken, that I am broken beyond repair, and that no one will accept me for who I am.
It has been countless times that I have been told that I will never truly be loved. That I am not worthy of love.
I have lost track of the number of times I have been told that I have no worth. That I deserve to be treated in all the bad ways because I refuse to back down and stay silent. That I am not worthy of respect.
I have lost count of the number of times I have wanted to give up — because the pain never seems to stop. It feels like a wound so deep, it is too far gone to be ever healed. And most days than not I let myself feel that defeat, especially when those pain and nightmares haunt me and hurt me in all the horrible ways! They come in waves and hit me the hardest and pull me under and drown me. And I feel too tired to even try to stay afloat and breathe. Because even breathing seems like a hell lot of work! I just want the pain and humiliation to end.
And yet a soft whisper inside of me keeps reminding me that…
“All things are temporary, even this pain. And so, this too shall pass.”
It will. It has to, right?
This pain, and being constantly thrown against the tide, and surviving every single time no matter how tired I feel — will matter. I will make sure it does. And finally, there will come a day when I thump my chest and give out my battle cry, and scare all monsters away. No nightmares will ever scare me.
Creatures like us shouldn’t be scared of nights. We are the daughters of the moon, after all, we evolve in all the phases and we revolve and never stop moving forward! We are light and dark, full and none and everything in between. No man can hold us in their palm, they can only cover their eyes as they are scared of us shining brighter than them. Do as you please, revolve around your axis. You are a force to be revered and loved. Let no one ever tell you that you are less than that.
And one day—
Some shall call me ‘a witch’ and fear me.
Some shall call me ‘a Goddess’ and worship me.
Some shall call me ‘a mother’ and learn from me.
And some shall call me ‘a mystical wild thing’ and will be forever entranced.
However, only I would know the rollercoaster journey and the experiences that took me to finally be all of it and some more! — Let this be our little secret, and let us heal all our soul wounds. I am not alone, You are not alone. This universe connects us, and so you siphon my courage, and I will siphon yours, till we are stronger enough to not be scared of our nightmares and monsters again.
There are only two sides of an abortion debate: Pro-Choice AND Anti-Choice.
There is no such thing as pro-life.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the lives of the children who are placed in orphanages and foster homes. You don’t care about the children who are never adopted. Those who suffer from unstable childhood shifting through foster homes. Those who are forever scarred because they never get to experience the love, safety, and security of parents. Those who grow up suffering violence and abuse and there is no one to give them a better place, another chance in society. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the lives of the children you restrict by not allowing same-sex parents to adopt them. You stop them from having a second chance in life, you stop a loving family to multiply. Simply because your bigotry and your hate for non-heterosexual and non-cis-gender people are more important than the happiness and well being of the children who you are robbing an opportunity of being part of a functioning family unit. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the lives of the LGBTQ+ children that you simply won’t accept. You would throw them into conversion therapy, torture, humiliation, murder, bullying. You would throw them out of your houses the moment you find out their existence do not align with your religious and cultural beliefs. You would rather let those children grow alone or die than to give up your own outdated hateful beliefs and respect the sanctity of their life. In fact, you would deny children the medical care they need, even if their lives are in danger, simply because their parents are a same-sex couple. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the lives of the children who are victims of wars and violence. You don’t care about the lives of the children trying to cross borders to seek shelter in a safer environment, for a better life. You don’t care about the lives of the children who die every day in bombings and wars as mere ‘collateral damage‘. You don’t care about the lives of children living in countries that are suffering from poverty and are starving to death. You don’t care about the lives of children who are fleeing violence, who regularly drown in the sea after their little dingy carrying them turns upside down and their tiny bodies wash ashore. You do not care about the lives of the children who have lost their lives in gun violence and are constantly in danger of becoming a victim of yet another mass shooting. You do not care about the lives of the children of color who are regularly treated as non-human, who suffer from racism, xenophobia and police brutality. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the lives of children who suffer and have suffered sexual violence in the hands of the religious men who are supposed to uphold morality, and yet snatch and murder the innocence and destroy the mind and bodies of the little children. While everyone else turns a blind eye and continues praying for their God under the same damn roof that they call a sacred place of worship. The same place that upholds your religious beliefs that you then use to discriminate and dehumanize people of the LGBTQ+ community. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the lives of the people who are constantly sent into wars that they never asked to be in, in countries they never know, to kill people they never want to. And if they return alive, you do not care about the quality of life they will have living with that trauma and without proper medical care. You do not care about the quality of life and psychological well being of war veterans, army personnel in active duty, and that of their families. You simply use them as ‘pawns’ to use them as a token of false patriotism and politics, as and when you please. Your countries hire them to either protect your sovereignty or you send them to wars – risking their lives. Yet you turn your back towards these people once they come back home, broken and forever changed. And you turn your back towards these people if they are immigrants, or are from the LGBTQ+ community. No, you aren’t pro-life if you strip the trans-people of their army uniforms and dignity, yet do not care when they risk their lives or kill others while following orders on behalf of your countries. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of people who die every day, because they couldn’t afford medicine or treatment that would keep them alive. Despite the fact that they pay their taxes all their lives. You do not care about the people suffering from serious medical conditions and financial pressure because of the health industry and the big Pharma suffocating them with the cost of unaffordable basic health care, hospital bills and medicines that sometimes take less than 2% to produce compared to the rate at which they are sold in the market. There are people dying because they can’t afford to buy their insulin, and you simply do not care. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life if you support death sentence of criminals. Aren’t they alive too? And what if an innocent person is wrongfully imprisoned and sentenced to death, and then you can never bring them back or set them free? It happens all the time. We all know it. You aren’t pro-life if you rather see a woman or her doctor get the death penalty or life imprisonment for getting or performing an abortion. While you care less about their lives and the lives of their families. And the rapists barely get punished. In fact, a lot of times you give the rapists the paternal rights to share the child with their victim, who you have now re-victimized for the rest of their life. These men who rape women and impregnate them in the process, you even give them the power to decide the fate of the fetus, while you snatch that right from the women! Her life matters. Her rights matter.
You aren’t pro-life because you put the entire responsibility on the woman, while no one cares about the man who made her pregnant. No one punishes the man who impregnated her. No one cares about how she will emotionally, physically and financially carry a child to term and raise it on her own – all because she was either a victim of rape or consensually decided to have sex with a man. You force her to be a mother of the child she didn’t want- for the rest of her life. Yet you talk about forgiving men for their mistakes, ask us to move past it instead of holding them accountable for their actions, mistakes, and even horrible crimes. The argument to look past the history of sexual assault, and the subsequent appointment of the recent Supreme Court Judge of the United States: Brett Michael Kavanaugh, and a slap-on-the-wrist punishment for rapists like Brock Turner are searing examples. You care about ‘not ruining the lives’ of these men, yet you would ruin the lives of the women. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life. If you were, you would pass mandatory vasectomy laws, you would freely allow women to tie their tubes, you would give free contraceptives, medical care, sex education classes and anything that would prevent accidental pregnancies. You would destroy the rape culture and the culture of misogyny. You would implement strict rape laws that would prevent rapes and sexual violence. In fact, if you were truly pro-life you would talk about prohibiting male masturbation because every sperm is ‘alive’, swimming, has a sense of smell and detect temperatures and is a viable life form that has a chance to form into a living human being. Yet you only care about women’s eggs! You somehow do not see the stupidity behind talking against women masturbation or them choosing to take contraceptives. And I really do not know whether to laugh or to cry over the logical fallacies and lack of knowledge about the basic biology and sex education that people and politicians use as debate points to infringe the sexual and reproductive rights of women. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of the woman who was raped, who is now pregnant but don’t want the baby. Inside her, the fetus grows, attached to her body. Using her body and her space and her nourishment. It is only inside her that the fetus can survive because it is merely an extra organ of her, a zygote, a mass of multiplying cells, a parasite, that is not a full human until it can survive on its own. You do not care about her trauma or her pain, you do not actually care about her life. And yet you call yourself ‘pro-life’! Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the state of life of the young girl, who has barely stepped into puberty but is pregnant. She is pregnant because she was sexually abused by someone close to her. Repeatedly. And she is too young to understand. Her life as she knows it…will forever change if her little body carries the baby to full term – i.e if her little body even survives the childbirth. Her mind and soul will forever be scarred. She is confused and her mommy’s heart is breaking into million pieces because there is nothing she can do to protect her baby girl from more pain, except aborting that fetus growing inside her tiny body. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a young woman, who is pregnant. She is from an ethnic community, where she will bring ‘shame‘ upon the family if they find out she is pregnant. Her community will ostracize her or her family. No one will ever respect her, accept her, or marry her in the community. Or worse she may be murdered to restore ‘honor’ to her family. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a teenager who is pregnant. She is pregnant because she didn’t know much about contraceptives, didn’t have proper sex education. No one properly talked to her at home or school about it, at least yet. And now she is pregnant but knows that carrying the baby will destroy her life and she will have to drop out of school. She isn’t ready to raise a child. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a woman who is pregnant. She is pregnant because her contraceptives failed. She was ‘responsible‘, was ‘careful‘, yet her she is holding a positive pregnancy test. Barely holding on because she knows she can’t carry this child. She does not want this child. She can not afford this child. A child that will be part of her life for the rest of her living days, and she is not yet ready mentally and financially to carry that responsibility. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a woman who is pregnant. She is pregnant because the condom her partner used broke. She suffers from various chronic health complications and if she carries this fetus to full term her body wouldn’t be able to bear that 9 months of extreme hormonal, physical and mental change. Her body will break beyond repair. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a woman who is pregnant. She is pregnant because her prescription medicine interfered with her contraceptives. She suffers from various mental health conditions. She is lying on the floor curled in a ball crying because all she wants is to have this baby, and yet she knows that she isn’t mentally strong enough to handle the responsibility of another life. She can barely handle her own. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a woman who is pregnant. She is pregnant because her abusive partner either took off his condom without her permission or raped her…because he wanted to ‘lock her in’ forever with him by forcing her to have their child. She had finally picked up enough courage to leave him, and now she is facing a prospect of a life with her abuser forever in it! She is scared to death. Her life matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a woman who is pregnant. She is pregnant because the doctors she had constantly begged to tie her tubes, wouldn’t do it for “she might want a child in future“. She knows that she will not. Not ever. She can’t take contraceptives or the morning after pill because she struggles with hormone issues and any of that will wack her hormone balance, that she already struggles to maintain. Her health has been a never-ending nightmare. She doesn’t want the baby. She can’t handle the responsibility. She isn’t ready to be a mother yet. And a child is a commitment of a lifetime: that costs countless emotions, time, energy and money. She can not afford to spare any of those. She does not want to. And she owes no one any explanation about what she wants to do with her body and the fetus attached to her insides is her body. Her life matters. Her choice matters.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the life of a woman who is pregnant. She is a living breathing human who needs all the help that she can get to choose to safely terminate her pregnancy. She will do anything in her power to abort on her own if her state/country has taken away her reproductive right and body’s autonomy. She will do anything in her power to go through an abortion, even if it means putting her life on the line. Her life matters.
Women have been aborting unwanted pregnancies, since the beginning of the time, for thousands of years with or without help from others. Women suffer from natural miscarriages all the time. They have been putting their health and their lives at risk if they didn’t get proper medical attention to ensure their body was clean post the loss of pregnancy. And it will continue to happen nevertheless. The least we can ensure is they get medical attention, and to provide them with a safer environment in case of deliberate or natural termination of pregnancy. Women matter. Their lives matter.
Because you aren’t pro-life about the quality of life of the child that you have forced the poor woman or that young girl to give birth to. You do not care about what happens to either one, once they are born. You don’t care if they have the money to eat, survive, to buy clothes and get an education. You don’t care how they will stay afloat, how they will live. And yet you call yourself pro-life and intend to force women into birthing babies.
You aren’t pro-life. You are anti-choice.
You are forcing your own personal and religious beliefs into the lives of those who do not share yours. You are interfering in their lives and their bodies, you are taking away their rights, body autonomy, their freedom while you are protecting yours. You are imposing terror in the lives of young girls and women. You are putting their health, their mental, physical and financial well being in danger. You are not pro-life. You are a hypocrite. A sexist anti-woman, anti-choice hypocrite.
If you are so proud of your belief then thump your chest and call yourself just that. And while you are at it…hug the pro-disease people tight. You all belong together — in the middle ages. You have no place in today’s society where you can pick and choose your sins, and what science and technology to follow. While you throw stones at others, judge them and mock modern science. “If God willed a pregnancy, it should be celebrated.”
However, “If God didn’t will us to have a choice, we wouldn’t be allowed the knowledge to build technology to abort it.” Also, God wills miscarriages too. Because how else does it naturally happen?
If you respect the sanctity of life so much, start with respecting the lives of the women who are already living and breathing. Respect the lives of children who are already born. Respect the lives of people of colors and those of the LGBTQ+ community. Respect the life of Earth. And that of the species and plants that exist. Because those are the ones who matter.
That zygote that is currently inside that woman’s body? That isn’t a viable human yet because it can’t survive outside her body. The one that starts as a part of her own body, and turns into a ‘parasite’ until it is ready to come out and survive on its own? Well, that is none of your damn business.
Her body. Her fertilized egg. Her ovaries. Her organs. Her choice. She is not a potential mother with a fertilized womb. She is a human being.
The woman and her life, her health, her body, her well being, her rights, her consent matters first and foremost. She is more than a potential mother, she is more than a mere gestational carrier or vessel. She is a living, breathing human being after all and her life should matter over a mass of multiplying cells that is yet to form a human body and survive on its own. She is an actual human being. She matters. And she should matter.
Come check on the baby, worry about its life and help both the mother and the child after the new human is born. Stop the wars, end the death penalty, go vegan, open your borders and allow others to live a better life, help the homeless and do something to help stop global warming — then call yourself a pro-life.
Also, since no one cares or protests about the ‘rights’ of the embryo in the fertility clinics, however, talk about the one inside the woman….it is extremely clear that people wanting to or forcing the creation and implementation of anti-abortion law do not really care about the embryo. They don’t want to protect the embryo’s ‘life’, they simply want to restrict a woman’s right on her own damn body. They want to control women’s ‘lives’. A constant reminder that a dead body has more right than the living breathing human female. And everyone should take a moment to sink this in.
Your religion, your culture, your beliefs, your body — not my business.
My religion (or lack thereof), my culture, my beliefs, my body — not your business.
You are not ‘pro-life’. You are anti-choice.
Just have the damn courage to stand your ground and stay it out loud that you want to take away woman’s freedom, their dignity, their right over their own body.
That for you a woman is not intelligent enough to make decisions about her own body, that she is less than a man. At least the sexists, misogynist men were frank about it. While you are a hypocrite hiding behind moot sentences stating your respect for ‘sanctity of life’, and ‘religion’.
Come out and say it to the babies who are, and will be forced to birth babies of their rapists. Say it to the women who have, who do and who will die bleeding after an unsafe abortion. Say it to the children who are forced to visit and call their mother’s rapist “dad” because the court has given him the parental right. Say it to the babies thrown away, abandoned or left to die. Say it to the children in foster care who will never have a stable childhood or the orphans in orphanages who will never get adopted. Say it to the children molested by priests and those killed in the war, and those who starve to death. Say it to the woman who is unable to raise her child she will be forced to birth because she doesn’t have the means.
Because it seems like no one cares about the ‘life’ of all the little girls or the women, and that of the babies…once they come out of us.
Mind your own uterus. And if you have none, then shut up.
For women, it is not about just the right to abortion. But the right to privacy and reproductive control and autonomy over their own bodies. It is about their freedom and dignity. For women, this is a fight of life and death. And it is shame that even today, we still are debating over the fact that whether or not women are human beings enough to just let them exercise what is best for their own bodies and lives.
It is time that we start regulating guns and wars, instead of women’s bodies and their basic human rights.
And unless if you have the orphanage, war, poverty, starvation, sexual violence, abuse, health care, education, etc. crisis handled…don’t come to women and think of forcing them to carry a child to full term and birth them into this world that neither cares about them, nor the well being of their babies. Babies – that these women never wanted in th first place. Babies that the world forgets after they are born.
It is amazing to think that people only care about the viability and the ‘life’ of a fetus and treat it as a full grown human being if it is inside the women’s bodies. No one cares about the ones lying in the Petri dishes in fertility clinics. It was never about the fetus, therefore, instead was about controlling the women’s bodies. It isn’t about the ‘life’, instead is an attempt to snatch the women’s choice…once again. Such a shame it is that people would take their Lord’s name in vain as an excuse for their bigotry, and then proceed with more hypocrisy and call it their right to take away other’s rights!
You are not ‘pro-life’. You are anti-choice.
Because if you were, we wouldn’t be standing on this crossroads. I wouldn’t be opening up my old wounds to explain to you about why my life as a full grown human being, my rights, and life as a woman matters more, and you wouldn’t be putting the life of an unborn fetus above the life of the woman whom you want to force to carry as your own personal incubator.
Banning abortion is just a gateway. Next, it is legally murdering women for suffering a miscarriage. Taking away the right over their own lives and their own bodies. Regardless of the circumstances or choices. If you really cared about ‘unborn life’, you would nip the veins of the men to stop their seeds to sprout new lives. Women can only give birth to a baby once in a year, however, a man has no limit of how many women he can impregnate with his child! Yet we aren’t regulating women’s bodies and choice.
Being ‘pro-choice’ doesn’t mean not caring about the lives of the children or that of the unborn fetus. It essentially means caring about the lives and rights of the women first and foremost, before that of the multiplying mass of cells that are not yet fully formed humans. It means prioritizing and respecting the life of a living breathing woman, over that of a potential human being that can’t yet survive outside of a womb.
Being ‘pro-choice’ means not treating women as potential baby-making vessels. Instead, it means to treat her as a person of her own who is and should be free to make the choices regarding her body, and what’s inside of her. Being pro-choice means being pro-life: respecting the life of women, along with caring about the lives of children that are already born and need us.
Not of the men and their sperms – responsible for causing the pregnancy. But instead, of the women whom you see as mere baby makers, not actual human beings that are truly alive.
Do you know how anti-abortion laws work against even women who do not want an abortion, yet who loses their unborn because they suffer a natural miscarriage? Go read and learn about Savita Halappanavar
Also, take a moment to learn about anti-choice laws do to desperate women. Take a moment to learn about Geraldine “Gerri” Santoro’
“In 1973, Ms. magazine published a haunting photo of a woman named Gerri Santoro, who’d died of a back-alley abortion. At the time, no one could have predicted what an impact it would have on the pro-choice movement.” – By Amanda Arnold
(You can read the rest of the article about her by clicking the direct links under bibliography. I want you to google the actual photo of her, her lifeless body in a pool of blood. I want you to read what happened to her and Savita Halappanavar, and how desperate and in pain, they were in. How their last moments must have been. I want you to know what desperate women have to do. I want you to remember that there were and are hundreds and thousands of women and young girls that have suffered the exact same pain and will continue to if we do not fix this society. And may it stay in your memory forever.)
Just pray to whatever higher power you bow your head down to, just pray that no one that you love (not even your worst of enemies) ever suffer like Geraldine did. Because of the way we are headed at right now, we have clearly forgotten the horrible history of the sufferings of women. And it looks like we haven’t learned our lesson yet, and so the universe has thrown us back to relieve and suffer through it again. We were supposed to be in a time of flying cars, yet here we are still taking away women’s rights and dignity….here we are where women are looking for coat hangers and making peace with the fact that they might end up bleeding to death just like Geraldine Santoro or Savita Halappanavar.
1973 • 2012 • 2019 …
We are still fighting the same fights. A woman’s well being, life and body autonomy are still up for debate for the men in power and those of anti-choice people. Why can’t we just let women be? Our body. Our choice. This is not a world I would want my daughter to live in. From Global warming to basic Human Rights…it is no wonder Millennials are choosing to have the lowest number of children compared to any other generation in the past. And our future generation will be left with the barren earth and no human rights that hundreds and thousands of people before us fought and died for us to enjoy today.
We deserve better. We can do better.
Look at us! A living breathing woman still has fewer rights than an unfertilized egg, she has less autonomy over her own body than that of a dead corpse. While the little swimmers that are alive and swimming – despite carrying the DNA imprint of the man it came out of – flush down the drains every day. And yet in a twisted way, somehow that is okay, while women are being denied contraceptives – because our unfertilized egg is somehow a ‘potential life’!! Science, common sense, humanity, human rights, and compassion is all thrown out of the window. This is what happens in a society where women give birth to men and give them the entire world to run. The Goddesses need to reclaim our power. We used to be Shamans, witches, healers, mothers, leaders, warriors and now here we are on the mercy of the patriarchy and religions and laws deliberately written by misogynists. Here we are dying of septic shocks for being denied medical treatment for suffering a natural miscarriage. Here we are still bleeding to death, or twisting the coat hangers inside our bodies. Suffering.
This was not an easy article to write. Not just the content and the word count, even the emotions were high, and at one point became too much to handle. And also one would think that there would be thousands of academic papers and government data available online for us to go through to research from. Yet, I was disappointed to find most of them from at least a decade old statistics.
We all happen to choose our respective side on the abortion debate, yet we still lack the effort to research about this very personal subject and the impact on the women who had to go through it, and who will have to take the difficult choice to undergo abortion in future. We bring religion and our bigotry in it, yet we fail to see it from a humane, psychological, emotional and physiological perspective on behalf of the women and their autonomy over their reproductive organs and reproductive choices. Yet we are quick to agree on the separation of Govt. from our lives in terms of regulation such as Gun and way of worship!
A maximum of 1 in 4 women and a minimum of 1 in 7 women will have an abortion in their lifetime. This data does not even include the hundreds and thousands of illegal abortions that women undergo worldwide either due to the restrictive anti-abortion laws, or lack of proper health care systems in their respective countries.
However, one thing is clear: It will be someone you know, someone in your family, someone close to you. And while these women will not shout it from the rooftops, you must know that it wasn’t an easy choice for them to make. Abortion is not like choosing which flavored ice cream you want to have, or which outfit to wear. And when they all read our constant debates about them and the way we reduce them to potential wombs, instead of a living human being. They read how people refer to them as murderers, monsters and garbage human beings for making a choice that was agonizing and yet best for them.
Maybe we all lost humanity a long time ago. Some of us are clinging on to straws. And may the holy almighty save us all, because us ‘Heathens’ are fighting for humanity, while the people claiming to be religious are using their lord’s name in vain to profit their agenda. And I hope what happened to the dinosaurs, happens to us. Because we are just so hell-bent on living in the past. We deserve to be fossils already.
There was no way that I could finish writing this without my heart breaking into thousands of pieces. There were too many things personal about this subject to keep this from being as professional, unbiased and as impersonal as I originally intended it to be. Since this is such a raw subject, I simply couldn’t finish this piece without tears falling down my eyes. So, here I am finally finishing this piece exactly a month after I began writing it. After all, I am a woman too. And I am only human!
What is the point of being human, if we aren’t humane?
This world is lucky that our female species don’t seek revenge for the atrocities on their kind. Instead, they fight for equality. Women do not put everyone in a box & label them as evil. That is how women live in this world – One day at a time.
Every Woman Experiences Some Form Of Sexual Harassment Or Abuse In Their Lifetime!
Strength • Perseverance • Hope – Yet Women everywhere give mankind a chance when they get up every day and go in the world. They hold the hope that each man they come across will be better than the last one.
It is the job of the mankind to ensure that the men become the torch bearers of this hope, and fight alongside the women to eliminate patriarchy. Mankind owes that to women of this world. Because women everywhere are running out of patience. And rightfully so.
Misogyny • Sexism • Anger – Women keep climbing up despite the weight of unrealistic expectations and roles on their shoulders, and the world keeps raising the ceiling higher. Women keep climbing up and the misogyny keeps pulling them down, trying to break their resilience and spirit. Their issues are mocked, their persona vilified and their voices muffled. It is the women who have created, carried and literally given birth to all of humankind. Each one of them.
The Goddesses – And one day the nurturers and the birthers of this world will take over as rulers, rather than equals, if the world keeps trying to push them back to the oppressed place, they are trying so hard to break free of.
Till then women will continue to climb on top of the ruins of the patriarchal obstacles that society keeps throwing at them. With hope in our heart, and truth of our past, us women need to stick together. Because the glass ceiling doesn’t break itself after all!
THE FUTURE IS FEMALE BECAUSE THE GODDESSES ARE RECLAIMING THE WORLD –And it’s about damn time!
There has never been a better time than now.And it has taken eons for us to reach where we are today. It required sacrifice, persistence, resistance, and perseverance of countless women and help of many sensible men to get enough people to accept the existence of Misogyny and understand the meaning of equality.
Total Word Count: 11687 – This is a rough draft of 50-page research I am yet to publish.
This article has been written from both personal and Sociological point of view on Gender equality, Gender norms, Patriarchal setup, Feminism and the Sociological implication of the gender prerogative. It is an easy guide to Equality, Gender norms, Feminism and the implications of the current stereotypes of gender and sexuality.
THIS ARTICLE COVERS :
· Gender Equity and Equality
· Women and Equality
· Patriarchy and its role in Misogyny and Misandry
· Toxic stereotypes and their effect on children
· Predatory Misogyny and Misogynistic Terrorism
· Sexual Entitlement and the Female Subjugation ‘Enforced monogamy’
· Sociological implication of the gender prerogative
· The Infantilization of women
· Victim blaming/shaming
· Patriarchy and its role in male abuse erasures
· Sexism Enablers and conditioning of Women
· Gender norms & roles
· Women Empowerment
· Constant misinterpretation of the women’s rights movement
Gender equality“does not mean that women and men will become the same, but that women’s and men’s rights, responsibilities and opportunities will not depend on whether they are born male or female.”
Gender equitymeans fairness of treatment for women and men, according to their respective needs. This may include equal treatment or treatment that is different, but which is considered equivalent in terms of rights, benefits, obligations, and opportunities.
When we talk about opportunity, we’re talking about ensuring the opportunity is not limited simply on the basis of gender. We are talking about correcting for gender biases so that economic outcomes improve for all.
On the path to gender equality, we need gender equity. In order to have gender equity, we need to change the narrative and focus away from fixing women and put it squarely where it belongs – fixing the system. A system that has generated a leaky pipeline and suppressed economic opportunity at all levels – individual, family, company, and country.” When we talk about Gender Equality, it is important for us to talk about gender prerogative and its Sociological implications.
How people continue to use gender stereotypes that are the result of old societal: Biological, Sociological, Anthropological and Psychological imperatives.
Why they continue to reinforcing them as an excuse for the Gender norms in modern society. (Some norms even dating back to the stone age and the times of early human hunter-gatherers.)
Why they confuse the norms as something that is part of normal neurological behavior of the females & male humans.
This has huge sociological as well as economical, biological, psychological implications on Women and the modern world as a whole.
And also‘The H2O Argument regarding the movement – Feminism vs other labels’ because we constantly find ourselves surrounded by questions about equality labels and the existence of Feminism and its actual role.
Some of the frequently asked questions are :
Why do we need to give more importance to the women and their respect, their rights & their issues? Do they want gender dominance?
Who and what are these Feminists? Are feminists really ‘men-haters’ who believe in suppressing and taking the rights away from the male population?
Why do we even need Feminism? Why are we using feminism we argue that we want equality, why not be an ‘Equalist‘ or a ‘Humanist‘ instead?
The topic of Feminism is important because Feminist campaigns are the main force behind major historical societal changes for women’s rights, particularly in the West.And it is surprising to see that even though the Movement gave power to the voices of women (especially in the west), most people including a lot of women have misconceptions, confusions, and lack of basic information about the Feminist movement. And often avoid being called Feminists and have so many questions regarding it and labels of Equality viz. ‘Equalist‘ ‘Humanist‘ etc.
We must carefully read and let it sink in to truly understand the importance of this article. In order to successfully understand this guide about Gender Equality, first, we need to take off our rose-colored glasses, step aside from our preconceived notions and stereotypes. And step into the conversation as ‘Women and Men’ rather than ‘Women vs Men’.
To learn the importance of the ‘Gender Equality & Gender Equity’ and how much is at stake: we need to first start the conversation about WOMEN.
“WE, THE WOMEN”
Women have been punished simply for being. Simply called crazy, hysterical just for being a normal flawed fellow human with hormones roller-coaster as a side-effect of the ability of human creation. This is an important subject to look at from the perspective of understanding how the men tried to find fault and figure out things wrong with women, who were otherwise supposed to be quiet, calm, submissive and with no sexual appetite. Rather than simply celebrating and ignoring it as a normal of being a human, a woman just like any men with emotions, aspirations, temper and sexual needs, everything was done to ensure that the ‘demon’ or the ‘craziness’ was diagnosed and controlled. And the after effects remain in this new society even after centuries & decades of ruling them out as Misogynistic dogma.
HYSTERIA.Such an outdated simple term yet carries the proof & history of sexism and mistreatment of women. Hysteria was the first mental disorder attributed to women (and only women) — a catch-all for symptoms including, but by no means limited to nervousness, hallucinations, emotional outbursts and various urges of the sexual variety. In the 5th century BC, Hippocrates (i.e., the founder of western medicine, in what may not go down as his greatest achievement) first coined the term “hysteria” — from “hystera,” or uterus — and also attributed its cause to abnormal movements of the womb in a woman’s body.
It was once a common medical diagnosis for women. Even though it was categorized as a disease, hysteria’s symptoms were synonymous with normal functioning female sexuality.In extreme cases, the woman may have been forced to enter an insane asylum or to have undergone a surgical hysterectomy. As historian Rachel P. Maines points out in her book “The Technology of Orgasm,” the symptoms of “hysteria”—a catch-all diagnosis for a slew of vexing lady problems that dates back a couple millennia— Fainting, anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, nervousness weren’t the only hallmarks of female hysteria; certain core aspects of female sexuality, desire, and sexual frustration were also on the list. “excessive vaginal lubrication” and “erotic fantasy” were also both considered symptoms of the disease. Oh and — “a tendency to cause trouble for others.”
It is beyond horrifying that this witch-hunt in the name of science started from 5th century BC until the American Psychiatric Association dropped the term hysteria in 1952. 5th CENTURY B.C. – 1952 — to finally admit that women weren’t sick, they were simply what women are supposed to be.
Let this sink in for a minute.
Sadly, we’re still feeling the impact of this highly-entrenched medical diagnosis today. It is no longer recognized by medical authorities as a medical disorder but still has lasting social implications. The “crazy” and “hysterical” labels are hard ones for women to completely shake. off
During my online research about Hysteria, I came across an article by Shalome Sine: On the sexist etimology of “hysteria,” and what academia did about it. She writes:“We as women still contend with this idea in current society. Women are typically considered less reasonable. When we’re upset, we get asked whether we are on our period. When we’re not upset, and instead of feeling emotionally level, we’re considered cold. This horrendous catch-22 leaves us with only one socially acceptable option: smiling and acting warmly toward those around us is the only attitude considered appropriate for us. For women, reasonableness is simply not a social expectation. Smiles are.” She later continues: “I also think this is a fantastic example of the way that sexism is detrimental to both genders. Men could not be diagnosed with hysteria because they did not have wombs. Besides, they were supposed to be too strong for these ‘womanly’ diseases. In turn, they could not (or would not) be treated for their psychological distress.”
Weakness/unreasonableness → Hysteria →woman (because she has a uterus)
Strength/reasonableness ≠ Hysteria →man
First, it was the term ‘hysteria’ that was used to insult a woman’s emotional intelligence and brush off her concerns and issues. Today, it is ‘paranoia’. Only the face of misogyny has changed, it has taken the shape of a much casual and classy facade. However, the deep-rooted sexism, stereotypes, and rape culture continue because sexism and rape culture are woven through the language we speak.
THE TRUTH IS: Even today the society is unable to accept the fact that women have a voice and can raise it too.
Women are educated and extremely talented, but they are not making it up the talent pipeline. Why not? Gender bias is causing a leaky pipeline.
Have we ever thought about why despite decades of medical and scientific advancement we have yet to invent oral contraceptives that have less or no side-effect?
Have we ever thought why the Govt. in countries that call themselves economically better spend less attention and almost zero funds towards providing HPV vaccinations to prevent cervical cancer for free or for a nominal charge. Why few countries medical budget and insurance covers Viagra pills and not sanitary products and contraceptives for women?
Have we ever thought why even after decades there is no preventive or effective medication for UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) while the majority of the women experience it at least a few time in their life? When we know that it causes extreme pain and discomfort, and can even cause infertility in women or kidney failure!
Why the sanitary products are taxed as luxury items when menstruation is part of women’s lives and these products are basic medical necessities, lack of which causes serious infections and major health issues?
Why are we less aware of female anatomy and the fact that most women who suffer from PCOS and major hormone imbalances require contraceptives not to prevent conceiving babies, but for hormonal balance and bearable menstrual cycle?
We never stop and wonder why there is a lack of attention and awareness about important social and medical struggles of women. We never wonder why most of the times even Doctors do not take their concerns or pain seriously, simply telling them that they are imagining it. They are misdiagnosed frequently and sent away home.
When women’s reproductive rights & contraceptive rights are discussed & taken away from them even though it is their body, their choice.
When women’s are treated like children who can’t make their own choices & health decisions.
When the men sitting in their offices give more funds & energy to a medical issue of erectile dysfunction rather than taking care of laws to take care of women’s reproductive health & mental well being.
When the men in lab coats ‘research’ and come to a conclusion that women’s ‘G-spot’ doesn’t exist, that women can’t orgasm or ‘ejaculate’ rather than saving those funds for other researches & simply coming to women and ask about their bodies…
This is when we know that we need to talk about it. We need to stand up and shout for everyone to hear that it needs to stop. We need to teach our kids to ensure that it isn’t repeated.
Women face challenges, discrimination & looked down as simply being less than a man. Not equal to.
In a society where a man is bossy, he is called a ToughLeader but if a woman is she is called a ‘NastyBitch’.
If she talks about a topic or subject men automatically assume that they have more knowledge than her, they tend to talk over her, interrupt her and if she proceeds to tell them that she knows it better (or has a degree or job in it) she is called ‘arrogant’.
A woman’s moral values are calculated by her clothes & the timings of the clock.
A woman has to do the double amount of work to prove herself in the workplace, to be taken seriously & fights sexism, misogyny & harassment at the workplace at the same time.
Every time a woman gets an appraisal or a promotion people around her question her ability & assume that it’s because of her looks.
When a woman is assaulted or raped people question her clothes, the timing she was outside & her truth.
Women have walked alongside men since the time of human existence and yet there is such lack of awareness and basic knowledge about a woman, her anatomy, her issues in the society, that it should infuriate people.
The rules are simple: Mutual respect. Mutual dignity. Consensual affection. Personal space. Setting up boundaries, protecting them from others & ensuring that we do not violate the boundaries of others.
“NOT ALL MEN…”
Every time women attempt to raise an issue that involves male perpetrator, or talk about men in terms of Sexual Violence, Domestic Violence issue, or even when being called out for inappropriate behavior, we start seeing men coming up with the “Not all men” defense. As if it solves the gender-based crimes in any way! Which it does not. If anything it gives an impression that the human male’s gendered image is more important to him than the real issues women face in the hands of these perpetrators.
No one actually thinks allmen. Just too many men.
Just enoughmen to be afraid. Just enoughmen that all women have experienced it. Just enoughto make it a social problem not a personal one.
Every time an infant or minor is raped or assaulted rather than collective outrage towards the rape culture there are men who start saying “Not all Men”
Every time a woman stands up for herself & the discrimination, people call her hysterical, ask if she is on her periods “are you hormonal/PMSing? That time of the month huh?” , call her names & call the poor condition of women a myth.
Every time a woman speaks up and makes a logical argument they aren’t treated with a counter logic or an intelligent discussion but rather personal remarks are thrown at her ‘comments on her looks, her character’. If they do not agree to a woman they proceed to emotionally violate her. “I don’t agree with you so I do not approve of your existence. Bad woman. You are ugly anyway!”
Every time a woman talks about women empowerment in a developed economical setting she is asked to shut up because “there are countries where women have it bad”. Every time a woman talks about women empowerment in a developing/underdeveloped economical setting she is asked to shut up because “Even developed countries are no better” & that “there are countries that women have it worse.”
To counter an issue by arguing that there are other more important issues to talk about does not make that issue less important.
There are always going to be places where women have it worse till we do not change our prerogatives & attitude towards even the issues that look ‘not important enough’ but are important for women around us.
A man gives the reason to respect women or understand their issues by giving statements like“I have a sister, so women empowerment is important for me” or “As a father of two little girls, I have realized how important women empowerment is and how terrible toxic masculinity is” or simply, “Now I understand what a misogynist or sexist I was in my youth.” Well, when men need to have an important woman, or women in their life as a sister, daughter, etc to finally realize that women are actual human beings is when we need to get up and scream at the top of our lungs that…we are raising our boys wrong.
WE ARE RAISING OUR BOYS WRONG
By enforcing the idea that a woman is a bond or a relationship, dehumanizes her. Leaving her only as important as the men in her life think she is.
Men DO NOT need to have a mother, daughter, sister, wife or any friend to understand that women need to be treated with dignity and respect. All men need to know that women too, just like you are humans. And just like men, women want to enjoy equality and respect. Just like men, women feel pain and hurt.
Because you do not need to have a biological or emotional bond with a woman to know that women are humans too and their rights are important, or that they are suffering because of patriarchy! Isn’t compassion a human trait?
WOMEN ARE HUMANS FIRST, AND THE OTHER BONDS COME SECOND
“Women haven’t needed to evolve past their primitive nature because they get everything served on a plate by simps. […] It’s my observation that men are more capable and evolved.”
“I’ll take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you.” — Elliot Roger, the so-called ‘Incel Messiah’. He is dead but his ideas live on: they are shared every day on the internet. “For the last 8 years of my life ever since I hit puberty, I have been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires. All because girls have never been attracted to me. […] Humanity is a disgusting, wretched, depraved species. If I had it in my power, I would stop at nothing to reduce every single one of you to mountains of skull and rivers of blood. […] You girls have never been attracted to me. I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it. It’s an injustice, a crime because I don’t know what you don’t see in me. I am the perfect guy.”
In 2014, hours after filming this video, he perpetrated the first ‘Incel’ attack in history: Roger killed 6 people and wounded 14 more in Isla Vista (California). Over the years, three more ‘Incel’ attacks would be committed: In 2015 in Oregon (US) and the recent van attack in Toronto (Canada) on April 2018.
This was what the Toronto killer posted on his Facebook minutes before the attack — “The ‘Incel rebellion’ has already begun! We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys! All hail the Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger!” The van attack killed 10 people.
A few days ago, on November 4th, 2018 there was another Incel: Scott Beierle shot and killed two women, and injured 4 other women and a man at a yoga studio in Tallahassee, Florida. Beierle was a self –proclaimed misogynist who railed against women and people of color. And he used to post misogynistic and racist videos and statements.
It is also interesting to note that the Incel community have previously raged against women wearing yoga pants!
But who exactly are the ‘Incel’?
INCELS. (a portmanteau of “involuntary” and “celibacy”), The acronym stands for ‘Involuntarily Celibate’, in other words: They don’t have sexual intercourse, even though they want it and pursue it. The ‘Incel’ has developed an extensive theory about why women don’t want to have sex with them. These are members of an online subculture who define themselves as being unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, a state they describe as Inceldom. Self-identified Incels are almost exclusively male and mostly heterosexual. What Incels want is extremely limited and specific: They want to be able to have sex on demand with young, beautiful women. And they don’t think of women as an independent autonomous intelligent sentient human being, but simply a vessel for male sexual gratification. Frankly, they don’t think of women as human at all, let alone equal beings.
Some of the theories by Incels posted on the internet and some important characteristics of Incels are:
In one of their theory ‘Why women are the embodiment of evil’ — “Bitches are nothing but born psycho (paths). They are pure and utter evil, who have no thoughts and feelings and should be seen as malevolent creatures they truly are.”
They have their own immutable certainties: E.g. ‘All women are sluts’ — “Because every bitch out there, regardless of their race, religion, virginity status, is a slut; it’s in their very nature to be such. Women haven’t needed to evolve past their primitive nature because they get everything served on a plate by simps. […] It’s my observation that men are more capable and evolved.”
Their own metaphors: “We’re essentially orangutans going extinct because our forest got cut down. Nature doesn’t care. Women don’t care. Chad doesn’t care. The loggers don’t care. Greenpeace doesn’t exist in this world.”
Their own slangs — ‘Chads’, ‘Staceys’, ‘Black Pill’, ‘Blue Pill’, ‘Femoids’, ‘Simps’, ‘Normies’, ‘Fakecels’, ‘White Knights’,
They take comfort and enjoy ‘playing’ with women. One of their manual includes ‘Tips on how to frighten little girls for ‘harmless psychological fun’ — “The feeling when you follow a girl and she notices you, and she tries to lose you or picks up the pace. That is kind of a good feeling. You become important to her. You are no longer some random insignificant face in the crowd […] they become paranoid. I recommend you lonely Incels try it sometime. Just to make her afraid. If you know your limits and don’t actually harass – let alone rape- that girl, it should be harmless psychological fun.” — This is a textbook case of harassment where the predator carefully constructs an environment for the unaware victim to make her feel scared for her safety and life, just for emotional and sexual gratification.
“Society has become a place for worship of females and it’s so fucking wrong, they’re not Gods they are just a fucking cum-dumpster,” a typical rant on an incel message board reads.
Jia Tolentino in her article ‘The rage of the Incels‘ in newyorker.com rightly pointed out that — “Incels aren’t really looking for sex. They’re looking for absolute male supremacy.
Yes, It is a horrible thing to feel unwanted—invisible, inadequate, ineligible for the things that any person might hope for. But to think that you are entitled to have sex, that you own the sex that you crave but seem to never get is a product of female evilness, rather than — waiting for the right person who would want you the way you are — or evaluating your personal behavior that rubbing off women in a negative way, enough to stay away from you. If you can’t get laid, blame women, hate them and create cult and conspiracy theories around women as ‘bitches’, ‘femoids: A snarl word for women, generally used by incels, to refer to women especially in the context of sexual objectification. A combination of female and humanoid implying a “less than human” status.”
Basically, treating women like they are dirt because you think you are being ignored is an example of entitlement. But it gets scarier.
These men bond by their disgust and violent hatred for society and especially women. And this hatred has caused not only psychological terrors on women, an increase in predatory misogyny and rape culture, but also deadly attacks which are the first cases of ‘MISOGYNIST-TERRORISM. The idea that this misogyny is the real root of their failures with women does not appear to have occurred to them. They are even misandrist enough to assume that men who treat women more respectfully are “white-knighting,” putting on a façade of chivalry.
The sexual revolution urged women to seek liberation. The self-esteem movement taught women that they were valuable beyond what convention might dictate. Because of cultural changes and more women being self-aware and doing better economically, have created a situation in which many men who hate women do not have the access to women’s bodies that they would have had in an earlier era. And instead, more women are being attacked and hated for taking autonomy of their own body and trying to re-write the age-old misogynistic ‘female subjugation’ narrative.
We can’t redistribute women’s bodies as if they are natural resources; they are the bodies they live in. A woman’s body isn’t for male entitlement and consumption.
It is solely for the woman herself.
MEN WHO FEEL ENTITLED TO WOMEN ARE DANGEROUS
The very idea of ‘INCEL’ is based on entitlement. That they are entitled to sex from women. And since they can’t get laid, they call for a witch hunt against all women. A lot of women, actually voluntarily or involuntarily stay celibate. A non-availability of sex doesn’t make women feel entitled to sex. Nor do they go to lengths of forming perverse forums and commit mass murders.
Women have heard enough of ‘misogyny don’t exist’ ‘gender discrimination doesn’t exist’ that today ‘women have more rights than men’ that because of women finally fighting to achieve equality and empowerment, men are suffering. We have all heard people calling Feminism evil. About how it has no place in the real world.
We have all known people like this some point in our lives, and why? Because a lot of men feel entitled, and blaming women for men’s violent outburst and excusing men’s inability to handle rejection as another excuse to blame women, keeps us for making this world better and safer for women to live in. Because for women, saying “No” to the advances of most men can cost her — her life and that of her loved ones sometimes, being hurt in domestic violence, or rape or gunned down, or acid attack, etc. Women every day pay the price of standing up to themselves and saying “NO“.
— Women have been so afraid to say ‘No’ to men because we all know that for most men it’s not just simple rejection, you can lose your life because you said no.
This has to stop.
This is what happens when you grow up thinking women as sub-human…you actually start believing it. So much so that you go to lengths to deliberately hurt them, calling their request for personal space and choice as their inability to feel any emotion.
FALSE SCIENTIFIC IMPERATIVES TO BACK UP MISOGYNY —THE BIZARRE CASE OFMALE GENDER SUPERIORITY
Men who appear to be intellectuals superficially are dangerous because they genuinely believe that their argument is correct and use pseudo-science to try to back it up. When in reality they have ingrained and entrenched misogynistic and patriarchal thinking and a feeling of male superiority — which they would never publicly or personally self- identity or agree. They are also dangerous because of predatory men or those who are misogynist or those who believe that male species are not to be held morally responsible…use these arguments as backing to their sexist behavior. We need to stop giving up spaces to people who act as false-intellectuals and attempt to use pseudo-science imperatives to make excuses for their misogyny and attempt to put women in their place.
Men who say that they are entitled to women are dangerous. Those who don’t believe in holding men responsible and instead believe in ‘female subjugation and stripping women the control of their own body’ on women are the textbook case of what Misogyny and what ‘Male Superiority’ looks like. This is how the Victorian Era looked too! Men like Jordan Peterson who are spreading back the notion of ‘enforced monogamy’ and others like him are dangerous because it is easy to believe them and to get influenced because they sound intellectual & smart. And they are…in warping facts & science! They only use their personna and education to advance their narrative to make excuse for their sexism bias.
It is no different than from the pseudo-race-superiority arguments of the Nazis. And interestingly even though Nazis went on to slaughter millions of innocents. There were and still are people who still believe in their race-superiority narrative.
Women, on the other hand, have been systematically oppressed since eons, to the point a vast number of them actually believe they are inferior to men! And since eons men have controlled the entire narrative — written, verbal and psychological. From religious books to basic literature everything has been controlled and narrated by men from their POV, and per their convenience. Women steadily continue to suffer and die as a direct result of the carefully and smartly planned patriarchal setup and covert misogyny.
“ENFORCED MONOGAMY” – men’s entitlement to women’s sexual attention – combined with rage over rejection – is deadly.
THE SOCIOLOGICAL IMPLICATION OF THE GENDER PREROGATIVE
The argument of enforcing monogamy on women as a solution to decrease aggressiveness of male is not only wrong since they enforce the notion of victim-blaming — majority of people somehow find a way to drag women as part of the problem…no matter how tragic or serious an issue is — but also has no validity biologically & morally. Because this reinforces the notion that women need to be controlled – sexually and socially, but men, on the other hand, don’t need these boundaries! How convenient!!
The truth is —
BIOLOGICALLY:Apart from being the one to carry and produce new ones, the female species have the imperative to mate with males who are not only mentally stable, physically stronger but also genetically better. To do so no species (including our early human ancestors) were monogamous.
SOCIOLOGICALLY:The monogamous structure started to be followed between male and female species after the individual groups started to turn into ‘societies’ and emotional imperative started to override the biological one, in order to bond and trust better, to ensure the groups stayed together and safety, even after the females had already reproduced.
HUMANELY & MORALLY: It is unfair to hold only female responsible to uphold the morality of a family or a society, in order for the society to continue. Both men and females hold equal responsibility to stay morally fair.
— And to assume that ‘enforced monogamy’ has any ingrained and entrenched genetically biological imperative of human females as a necessary requirement is both incorrect and promotes the misogynist idea that women are not humane enough and worthy to have the right to live a life apart from reproducing, and that the autonomy of their body belongs to men instead.
“You cannot have a real conversation with people who don’t believe in facts. It doesn’t work, they don’t want to listen. They make up things to fit their world view. Legit, pull things from thin air and call it a fact. It’s fact because they believe it to be. It doesn’t matter how much I talk or what evidence I can show. They will still be “right because they know. You will be seen and treated as less if you look or believe anything different.” — (a wonderful comment on a video about Racism and Alt-Right by this person: Victorya Ann
Just because someone is a man (or a woman for that matter), they aren’t entitled to anything sexual. People get to choose and decide if they are interested. We need to move away from this feeling and behavior of entitlement. We can do better.
Both men & women are humans. They both have the same biological imperative to produce new life with better genes so that future generations can survive, and they both have the social imperative to protect the species as a whole for those who already exist. Both of them need to be held with equal moral standards. One shouldn’t just get a pass from morality just because they happen to be men. We are no longer hunter-gatherers or cavemen, that we can give toxic masculinity a pass. Everyone is entitled to freedom, happiness, and dignity.
Men have the seed for new lives, but it is the women who grow it inside of them as part of their own body, carries them and then further nourishes them after birth. Every species owes their females much more respect and appreciation, and not treat them as vessels of sexual gratification & childbirth.
It is the women who have created, carried, and literally given birth to all of humankind. Each one of them.
We are the top of the food chain because we hold the key to compassion & empathy. We are humane. The more we give an excuse of toxic male behavior as – biology- and entitlement, the more the society shall disintegrate. Because after thousands of years, women are finally reclaiming the rightful place that they were stripped off of.
How hard is it to teach our children to accept rejection with dignity? To live with humility and respect for each other!
It is time to raise our boys right.Let’s teach them that it is not okay to feel entitled to a woman’s affection. — And raise our girls better too. Let’s teach them it is okay to say ‘NO’.
Gender norms and stereotypes are hurting our society
Because we are setting up our children for failure. We need to let go of it and let both male and females decide what they want to be. This is the only way for our society to reach its full potential.
“DON’T BE A BITCH. SAY THANK YOU ANDSMILE.”
We grow up being told to ‘smile’, being told to take ‘compliments’. We grow up being catcalled and stalked. We grow up passing men in the street who discuss obscenely about our body parts & what they want to do to it, loud enough for us to hear and being disgusted, offended and frightened for our safety. They intend for us to hear & they do not care. We are simply cattle sexual playthings or pets. Our personal space & dignity constantly violated and when we stand up for ourselves, against the harassment we are called a Bitch, a snowflake. “Grow up, and learn to take compliments. Don’t be a bitch about it. Or your life will be harder if you act like this.”
THE INFANTILIZATION OF WOMEN. An incredible phenomenon by which our society systemically equates femininity with things like vulnerability, submission, uncertainty, and childhood. Womenare postured in childish ways; bent knees, blank stares, holding themselves, putting their hands in their mouths, in what you might call “submissive” stances to their surroundings, while men are often depicted standing straight up, in control, and adult-like (for more examples of this, open a magazine). Also, calling grown women ‘girls’ is sexist. And so is asking grown women to ‘smile’ and expect their ‘Thank You’.
We teach our women to get approval. Learn to get respect in society. To keep our mouths, dresses, ‘virginity’ and lives in check. To ensure we aren’t labeled ‘defectives’ or ‘expired’. When we should be giving equal energy to teach our men to let womenbe. To teach men to respect women as a human, not an object or a possession that requires perfection or has an expiration.
If women smile less they are called arrogant. If they smile more they are labelled immoral.There is no middle ground for women.That maybe they are just an ordinary imperfect human who needs to be treated with dignity & their personal space respected, is something no one pauses to think.
We don’t let women behave like men or men behave like women if they want to. We don’t strive to behave more humane instead? What is so wrong in being a woman!
Every time you come across women ‘preference’ law that is put in place to protect them from crimes like rape, assault, domestic violence, etc and your argument is “but there are so many false cases filed by women, laws being misused by them that men are the one who are suffering.”— it means that because we still have people with this thought process is the reason why we need Feminism.
“Equal Rights does not mean fewer rights for you, as a man. It’s not a pie.”
“HEY! BUT ALL WOMEN…”
Let me tell you something: “I have faced a lifetime of harassment from men, even when I was a child & even more when I am an adult. Moreover, there are innumerable instances where I have declined advances of men who then proceed to call me names because they are too fragile to handle rejection. And the list goes on. It has come to a point that today I do not even remember the number of men who have inappropriately tried to violate my personal space & disrespected me.”
So I will ask you: Isn’t the most logical thing for me is to put the entire male species into the category of ‘ALL MEN ARE — dangerous animals, who lack self-control. That they are too fragile to handle rejection and have no concept of consent. Each one either a rapist or a potential one.’?
No, right? I know what you would say: ‘Not all men’. (A statement that men give every time there is an outrage towards men on rape, abuse and other violent crimes against women.) But run at the collective ‘But all women’.
If you drown in a pond you are left with a phobia of water and that is normal for people to understand. Then why women being always cautious and wary of men – is a hard concept to grasp? And shouldn’t that be understood and respected, considering all things?
Irrespective of our wariness against men, women do not put everyone in a box & label them as evil. That is what maturity means. This world is lucky that our female species don’t seek revenge for the atrocities on our kind. Women do not put everyone in a box and label them as evil. That is how women live in this world ~ One day at a time.
Every womanexperiences some form of sexual harassment or abuse in their lifetime.
Yet women everywhere give mankind a chance when they get up every day and go in the world. They hold the hope that each man they come across will be better than the last one.
And the number of women who misuse the efforts of empowerment that we give them is a minority – like a bucket of water in a huge pond. Not all women are good. Women after all like men are only human: flawed and imperfect. Not all women are necessarily good humans, but all suffer from misogyny. And for some men to constantly use ‘whataboutism‘ is disrespectful towards every woman who gets up every day, despite bad experiences in the past, and still chose not to put all men in a box with ‘All Men
We need to understand that the Law Enforcement and judicial system is there for a reason.
It is simple : Hold people equally accountable, if they break the law. Have a good law enforcement system and punish people regardless of gender. Feminism is holding people accountable for their actions, regardless of gender. That women can be domestic violence perpetrators, or rapists or murderers, or simply bad human. So people who fight for equality never say ‘All Men’ or ‘No Woman is Evil’ .
So it shouldn’t be hard for people to comprehend that there is a social stigma against women. That these laws are here to fill a long-existing gap that has been in favor of men for a long time. In a lot of countries, marital rape is still legal. And, in some countries, rape survivors are imprisoned and punished too. In a lot of societies, the first thing that people think of when rape happens — “Who will marry her” rather than — “Is she okay“.
These young girls and women suffer a lifetime of punishment and stigma because of someone else’s crime against them.While the spotlight never stays on the rapists for long. And yet we cry wolf when a country moves in a positive direction and brings better laws to empower women! These laws are not a special favor towards women, instead, they have been long overdue.
Majority of women suffer in our society, suffer the unthinkable and keep quiet because we make them feel ashamed for being a victim/survivor and more because we question their truth. We use abuse erasure & victim blame instead.
“THE PATRIARCHY HAS FAILED THE MEN…TOO.”
Patriarchy also hurts the male population as much by binding them in a perceived ‘masculinity’ while they need to constantly prove it or be ashamed. That without the societal idea of ‘masculinity’ a male is less of a human…’women like, feminine’. A society where anything related to the female gender is looked upon as a defect, a weakness.
“For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable. For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence. For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep. For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes. For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep. For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes. For every girl who throws out her E-Z-Bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one. For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry’s attacks on her self-esteem. For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.” — Nancy R. Smith
TOXIC MASCULINITY AND MENTAL HEALTH: More men lose their life to suicide than women. More men attempt to end their life. Because since a long time we have taught men that “Real men don’t cry”
There’s no denying that the patriarchy is set up to benefit men. However, gender norms are just as rigid for men as they are for women, and the consequences can be deadly. Some have argued that the high rate of completed suicide for men could be traced to the cult of masculinity, which causes men to be less likely to seek help for emotional problems
We haven’t taught men to deal with their emotions. That it is okay to feel. And so more men are ashamed to get help, to talk to someone about their emotions. They don’t know how to handle those emotions, and in turn, try to suppress them. What would you do if you are overwhelmed with emotions, that you have no idea how to deal with? Do your tears make you less of a man? No. but we never tell them.
More men end up channeling those emotions and turning it into anger. Because as a society we have taught them anger is being tough. As a society, we set men for failure from the moment they are born because we enforce the idea of toxic masculinity, a false idea of ‘manliness’ into them. We turn them into angry men who destroy toys and then girls, rather them teaching to control and channel their emotions into positive things like women. We put pressure on men to succeed, we place a preconceived notion that men can’t want to be a stay at home dad and take care of children without worrying about bills, because we enforce the notion that you are not man enough to take care of your family as any woman would. We pressure them into working in jobs that make them unhappy and taking a break if they are overwhelmed.
Furthermore, research has shown that fear of being seen as “weak” is so deeply ingrained that they drastically overcompensate when they feel threatened. Male overcompensation is typically played for laughs, but in reality, it can have terrible consequences. As the authors of the study point out, men who don’t see themselves as masculine are more likely to harass and act aggressively toward women and gay men.
SEXUAL ASSAULT:Although statistics show that men make upanywhere from 10 to38 percent of sexual assault victims, sexual assault is often seen as something that happens to women, by men. Even when people do admit that male rape occurs, it’s often played for laughs: Prison rape jokes, congratulating him on getting “laid,” etc. The minimization and outright dismissal of male sexual assault don’t exactlyencourage men to come forwardafter an incident, and it can seriously impede recovery.
We constantly tell men that if a woman initiates sexual advances, they have to continue it. That saying “no” would make them ‘less of a man’. That a man has to be sexually responding, and that it’s not harassment. That they have to feel good. That it’s okay for a woman to beat a man, and that if they don’t hit back they are ‘less of a man” instead of applauding these male victims of domestic violence for showing restraint instead. That it is okay if a woman is an abuser, we make the male victims feel ashamed to admit that they are being abused, we make them feel that they need to stay quiet because of fear of getting mocked, that since they are ‘men’ — real men are tough. And we have male enablers, part of the patriarchy, who constantly reinforce these notions into fellow men.
When we do not acknowledge a male rape victim/survivor and instead joke that he must have enjoyed being raped by a woman because ‘men don’t get raped’ or ‘he had an erection‘. When we question his ‘heterosexuality‘if the rapist is a man. When we talk about “why we never ever had a sexy teacher” when we come across incidences of female teachers abusing male students. When we come across a male victim/survivor of Domestic Violence & call him ‘not man enough’ or weak.
We make men the victim of rape culture too.
“Men don’t get raped” “Real men don’t cry” “Men don’t wear pink” “Anything stereotypical to femininity is dirty”— we are raising our boys wrong. We are reinforcing the notion that anything remotely ‘vulnerable’ is feminine. And that being feminine is dirty, even if it means bottling up your emotions. “Act like a Man”
Reinforcing the idea into our children that being anything near stereotypical ‘feminine’ is being ‘weak’
Reinforcing the idea into our children that being anything near stereotypical ‘masculine’ is being tough & macho.
SEXUAL AGGRESSION:While women are slut-shamed at every opportunity, men are encouraged to bang everyone in sight, often whether that person is consenting or not. In fact, if men don’t express voracious sexual appetites at all times, they’re belittled for not being “manly” enough.The stereotype of male sexual aggressors is so entrenched that for decades, scientific research worked on the assumption that men are more sexual beings than women, and it’s only recently that this narrative has come into question.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:Similarly to sexual assault, domestic violence is assumed to be a female concern. While women do make up the majority of domestic violence victims, domestic abuse can and does happen to men as well.However, the culture of toxic masculinity is so strong that some men may not even realize they’re being abused because they aren’t used to violence being discussed in terms of female-on-male.
We have failed our girls, and we are failing our boys too. This is patriarchy. And it needs to be destroyed.
“As much as men may benefit from patriarchal societies on the surface, it’s clear that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. Fortunately, there’s a movement dedicated to dismantling the patriarchy: Feminism. And if we work together, perhaps we’ll find ourselves in a society that doesn’t discourage men from showing emotion or shame women for doing so.”
Feminist (n): A person who believes in social, political, economic equality of sexes.
Feminism is not a dirty word that you are scared to use for yourself or a word that you throw it at people as an insult for them because they believe in equality. Feminism isn’t anti-male, unlike the preconceived notion of some people because of its prefix ‘Fem’. It is to support women, not to pull down men. This movement is the reason in most of the places in the world women have an individual voice.
Before you jump on the bandwagon of the argumentative labels of ‘pseudo-feminist, feminazi, men hater’ and so one, let me stop you and make my most favorite statement of all times: “I can call myself a Potato. But calling myself a potato doesn’t make me one.”
Now, I love potatoes. But that doesn’t mean that I label myself one out of my personal disgust for eggplants (nasty vegetable by the way). Or simply become a potato because it’s chic & popular to be a potato. I can go on and on about how I believe the potato ideology but if I do not actually follow and respect it then how am I part of it!!
Similarly, all women & men who call themselves Feminists or even Equalist, however, hate men or bash women in the name of equal rights or use misogyny or misandry erasures to fulfill their personal agenda of hate are neither Feminist or Equalist. Also, all the MRA’s here: I am looking at you too. Take off your privilege & look around. You aren’t oppressed. Stop your misogyny in the name of equal rights. We all know that you do not see us as equals but as witches instead.
Gemma Cairney’s beginner’s guide to feminism, including a recommended reading list, an exclusive extract from her book, Open: A Toolkit for How Magic and Messed Up Life Can Be : “It’s essentially a powerful belief that we live in a patriarchal society (a society essentially run and governed by men) and that this ain’t cool.
To be a feminist in the most basic of terms means to believe in equality. Feminists do not believe that men are evil or that women are better than men. They believe that women are equally as valuable and important in society as men and should be treated as such, and not be valued or judged by their looks – or feel that they have to dress any particular way – or judged by their ability to reproduce, but by their equal contribution to the workplace and beyond.
Feminism makes sense. Calling yourself a feminist does not tag you as a man-hater or someone who does not like to be feminine – it tags you as someone who believes in equality. Women can be beautiful and powerful, they can be leaders and carers, they can be loud and wild if they choose or just one or none of those things if they choose. Women are almighty dynamic. Being a feminist means you are a champion of the rights of other women to achieve all that they are capable of. Many men are feminists too.”
And they should be.
Feminism is a radical notion that women are people.
The truth is, a huge part of being a Feminist is giving other women the freedom to make choices you might not necessarily make yourself.
There are major issues faced by women in this sexist society. And along with that, there are issues faced by men at the same time too. Why don’t we sit together like mature beings, take off our privilege and hate, acknowledge the problems & work together to eliminate them? How hard is that! But instead, women, are told to shut up.
Women are constantly classed by men on how to react when most men are too immature to accept a rejection and understand personal space and mutual respect. — “Oh, honey! Don’t be a cry baby. Don’t wave your victim card. Don’t wave your woman card. Shut up and grow up. If you do not learn to ignore it you are in for a very rough life.”
No person should shut up or stay silent. Women should speak up against misogyny because if they don’t, society will continue to think that women are okay with this kind of behavior. And men should speak up too because to stay quiet when you see a section of your society disrespected and treated as below human…is equal to you being an oppressor yourself. A man who speaks up and is not complicit can make a great difference.
Learn this instead: “Don’t be so sexist. Act like a mature person. Understand personal space. Don’t be creepy. Open your mind. This world is changing. For good. If you do not hold yourself accountable and become a respecting adult, you will be thrown off and will fall flat on your face in a sexist puddle of your making. And you know, masculinity is a fragile thing”
COMPLICIT WOMEN:Women have been stripped of their rights for so long, stripped of their dignity that we have women in every generation that are desensitized to sexism and conditioned into systematic misogyny — in the name of religion, culture, tradition.That they are brainwashed into believing that the only rightful place of women is under the thumb of men, under control. They are conditioned into believing that it is the only way for the survival of society. That the women are the only one that needs to keep their morality & sexuality in check.These women are complicit.
These women become the enablers of sexism and female oppression themselves. Most of the times disrespecting and degrading the new generation of young women, similar to how they were degraded by the generations of women before them. Especially societies in the Middle East, South Asia this is clearly visible and in societies in developed patriarchal countries like America, UK, etc they take a more casual form.
This social structure of patriarchy and this ‘H20 argument’ by those who don’t understand the importance of Feminism & its stance of women empowerment is toxic. And I have seen women who have been desensitized and conditioned into it. Women who pressure, shame and push young girls and other women into oppression.Women who side with the patriarchy and play the Devil’s advocate.
Unsurprisingly whenever there is a conversation of women issues and conditions…we often find men put the entire blame on women. Women for not speaking up, for being complicit, for suffering and for being conditioned. The blame women for making things worse for other women, for stopping other women to progress and break gender norms. And when women speak up the same men blame women for being too loud, too demanding, and for speaking up to demand a change.
The truth is women who are complicit, and who become enablers of patriarchy and female oppression are themselves, victims of a lifetime of conditioning, brainwashing, fear-mongering and traditional gender stereotypes. VICIOUSLY CONDITIONED SINCE BIRTH.
It is important that women are no longer complicit, that they do not become enablers and helpers of misogyny. At the same time remember that complicit women are themselves the victims of misogyny themselves.
It is our duty to teach future young girls the same. And teach our young boys not to stay silent about it. We need to break this vicious cycle if we want our society to flourish.
Break the vicious cycle.
SHATTER GENDER ROLES
Women have been controlled in every way possible. And no woman should be punished for a man’s apparent lack of control.
Men and women aren’t the same. Our bodies are different. Our minds are. Our brains are. We are two sub-species of a modern human species. We aren’t ‘equal’. We are different. And we need to acknowledge this difference & embrace it. We aren’t superior or inferior to each other. We are the same. With different faults & abilities, with different bodies, with different physical and emotional challenges. We aren’t equal & yet we are equals. And we need to understand this. We need to look around and uplift women and empower them because since thousands of years we aren’t treated with equal rights & dignity.
From a scientific & sociological point of view:
• Gender roles are inherently sexist since it promotes the caveman stereotype of what a woman’s work is & what is that of a man without disturbing the comfort level of the misogynistic patriarchal society. Gender roles were only feasible when we humans were cavemen. The women would huddle inside the cave taking care of infants and the men would slave outside risking their lives to hunt food & protect their group.
• There were no modern technologies that would make it feasible for interchangeable roles.
eg: if a women had to go out and hunt not only would it increase the chance of her being attacked or killed by a wild animal…how would the men feed the infant that could only survive on breast milk or rear them since their instinct was more brutal (to survive) than emotional (something that was really important to protect the group). — Or another eg: To increase the population of groups cavemen would often steal or force women from other groups to mate and reproduce. They were not civilized and like any wild animals did not know how to control sexual urges.
• The biological elements of a body are not only influenced by the physiology of a body but also the mind, which in turn is heavily influenced by the external environment, which in turn influences the behavioral patterns of a being in a group. The only basic instinct of a human body is to breathe, to drink water, to eat food, and satisfy sexual desire. Apart from that specific gender roles and the power structure is a learned behavior and has no connection with ‘biochemical’ nature of the human species.
• Women aren’t meant to be less powerful than men, or less able despite the physical and psychological differences. Men aren’t meant to be the leader of the pack. A guard doesn’t equal to a strategist or a leader. Just because a subspecies’ biological imperative is to ‘guard’ because of their physical strength doesn’t make them a strategist or a leader. The protectors can either be soldiers or can be leaders. Leadership and strategist skills exist in both male & female subspecies. Also, physical and psychological strength & emotional intelligence can be found in both subspecies, in some more than the others; but in both subspecies nevertheless.
• Human beings are social animals, if we strip the external influence from them and only stick to the biological nature that is meant for basic survival, they will not exist at the top of the food chain as they are today. Personality is made up of behavior, and behavior is a response to a stimulus, both innate and learned behaviors. So to keep talking about innate doesn’t make a human whole. Gender roles aren’t innate behavior. Its high time people learn to understand the difference between instinct & gender ‘norm’
I know it is hard to shake off that inert sexist attitude that we grow up with, again some more than the other depending of the learned behavior from the different societies that we live in, however, like any learned behavior it can be unlearned and a fresh new outlook can be explored.
• In the end, we can’t keep making arguments by saying — “But that’s not what we are supposed to be wired biochemically in terms of the gender sub-species differences”— Not only that would be scientifically and sociological inaccurate but also humans are the top because we evolve. We have evolved in terms of group and society and body and mind. And only if we continue to get out of our comfort zone, we are going to evolve better and our civilization is going to survive. The rules of the past were meant to survive at that time. Today, the present requires a different power balance to make it to a better future.
Gender stereotypes and biology isn’t an excuse for us to follow through our irrational impulses that are only fit for wild animals and uncivilized hunter-gatherers. Let’s also stop making it an excuse to respect another person as being equal and important.
Women are meant to be leaders in and outside their house. Just like any man. Saying that they get their perks by gender roles without understanding the problem with these stereotypes is equal to being given a palace and then being told that you can’t step out of it.
It is okay if you (as a woman) want to live your life in that palace and not stepping outside ever, it is also okay if you (as a woman) want to leave that palace, work on your own and build your own palace where you can come and go as you please. You should make that choice about yourself, not a social gendered role. You should have that choice.
Feminism is about fighting for the power to have a choice.
Women Empowerment: As a rule of balance, in order to equal the scale …empower the oppressed section to uplift them, educate the privileged section so that they understand why the other section requires empowerment.
Women have been constantly asked to shut up because talking isn’t ladylike. We have been witch-hunted & burnt on stake because we were loud with our opinions, loud enough for people to think of it as being unnatural. Evil.
What is interesting is that most people actually believe that misogyny & sexism is a myth like Global warming is for a lot of people. Saying that this issue doesn’t exist does not mean it does not, but simply that you are too blinded by your privilege to look around, acknowledge a problem & then hold mature discussions to understand it & work together to eliminate it.
This world of patriarchy was built on the silence of women. So the last thing women need is to stay quiet. Because if women around the world will not discuss this issue no one will know that it is even a problem. It is important for us to stay on the same page and acknowledge the poor condition of women & the need for women empowerment. If we do not acknowledge the existence of a problem, we can never truly solve it.
What we need to understand is that we all need to treat each other with equal respect because we are all equal, not superior or inferior. Equal. That does not mean that the male population or their problems are overlooked. While people must be taught to respect everyone we need to give more attention & emphasis especially towards women because in a patriarchal setting like this women get less respect than men. And Men too suffer because of constant pressure to live under the shadow of toxic masculinity.
Women empowerment is important and critical because women need to be uplifted. They have been and are oppressed. Once we achieve that goal, we then will follow a 100% Equalist set up. Equality setup is putting the same weight equally and both the scales are equal. This is where women empowerment is important. the scales have been uneven since centuries, so we need to uplift women, put more weight on that part of the scale.
CONSTANT MISINTERPRETATION OF FEMINISM
What we need to understand is that we can only follow an Equalist setup once we have uplifted the lesser privileged sections with the help of the Feminist setup. Without this, we will never truly be equals.
Feminism is a movement for Equality and freedom of voice and choice.
On the other hand, “Equalist’, ‘Humanists’ are all labels to identify supporting Equality. The funny thing about the label is identifying with one label or the other that falls under the same movement, makes you not only comfortable with it but also, part of the movement. So, before you put down a movement or label in favor of another, ensure that you know everything about it first.
The H2O Argument :
I call it – “The argument that you have with a person when you are too quick to judge and when you call someone wrong while being too lazy to understand that you and the other person are both talking about the same thing or issue. At the same time your inability to take off your rose-colored glasses and a childlike paroxysm to not even attempt to have an open mind to understand the problem in the true sense that as a result makes you unfit for a mature & logical conversation, and instead makes you a buffoon!” (if you’ll pardon my French)
If you believe in Equality. If I believe in Equality. We both believe in the same thing. I call it Feminism and you call it Equality/or other terms. Why does it matter? What is there in a term? You call it a ‘water’ or an ‘H2O’ it eventually means the same thing.
People have a problem with Feminism because when we come from privilege, equality feels like an oppression.
FEMINISM IS EQUALITY.Equality is not women supremacy. Equality is having equal rights. Equal respect of both sexes. Those who are afraid of Feminism, are afraid that men will be treated the same way women have been treated for thousands of years – with humiliation & oppression.
FEMINISM IS IMPORTANT.Because Feminist campaigns are the main force behind major historical societal changes for women’s rights.
Particularly in the West, where they are near-universally credited with achieving women’s suffrage, gender neutrality in English, reproductive rights for women (including access to contraceptives and abortion), and the right to enter into contracts and own property, the right to vote, to hold public office, to work, to earn fair wages or equal pay, to receive education, to enter contracts, to have equal rights within marriage, and to have maternity leave. Feminists have also worked to ensure access to legal abortions and social integration, and to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence.
And although feminist advocacy is, and has been, mainly focused on women’s rights, feminists also argue for the inclusion of men’s liberation within its aims because they believe that men are also harmed by traditional gender roles.
FEMINISM IS MISUNDERSTOOD. By people who somehow believe in some form of equality, and is hated by people who don’t believe in Equality for women, or the right of minorities to have a freedom of choice.
FEMINISM IS NOT A DIRTY WORD. It is not something that you can twist around and throw it at people who are Feminist, thinking that somehow it would insult them. No. Because you are either a feminist or a sexist.
People should be ashamed of being sexist, not ashamed of supporting Equality.
Gender inequality continues to have a huge social, psychological and economic impact on modern human societies. And those societies who do not evolve and change their power & societal structure with time, they crumble.
All sexes are the victims of gender norms and their prerogatives.
And if you still struggle to accept it or admit it, despite extensive scientific evidence, research, and statistical data. If you still struggle to understand it despite women every day publicly talking about it. Or if you still struggle to see it even though it is right in front of your eyes;YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own” — Audre Lorde
*This article has been written from both personal and Sociological point of view on Gender equality, Gender norms, Patriarchal setup, Feminism and the Sociological implication of the gender prerogative* Total Words: 11680 ♡ XOXO ♡