I knew I was losing my heart the moment I set eyes on him.
I knew I was digging my own pitiful grave;
Ready to be consumed with the pain of never-ending heartbreaks and an ocean full of sorrows.
Like the one, I had taken years to come out of.
I knew.
And yet…and yet I locked my heart and gave him the keys.
I happily walked on top of the mountain and took a deep breath, closed my eyes and jumped.
I fell into a never-ending spiral of tempestuous emotions trusting him that he will catch me.
I. fell. in. love.
He closed the door.
A shiver ran down my spine.
Anticipation.
I look into those deep mesmerizing eyes.
So many thoughts were running into my mind.
Am I doing the right thing?
I am trusting my heart.
But when has my heart ever lead me to a sane path?
All it has to lead me in the past were to the steps down the hell.
Had made me fall into a pit full of fire, trusting that someone will catch me.
But no one did.
Was I repeating the same mistake?
Was he worth the risk?
What was I doing here with him?
My heart was telling me to take that plunge and my brain…my brain was telling me to RUN.
I looked at him, into those enchanting eyes that were telling me to trust him and took a deep breath.
He held my face and he kissed me.
He kissed me like he always did, with such love and pure emotions.
Like he is my rain in the middle of the hot summer.
Like he is Indian summer in the middle of a cold winter.
Like that kiss was the only fix to my addicted heart.
Like I am dying and he is my breath of life.
Damn! this man makes love to me by kissing alone.
The wall around my heart peeled off with the layers of clothes from my body.
I had always imaged us like this.
Just me and him, lips on lips…skin to skin.
Bodies entwined. And our hearts open. Ready to take each other’s hearts and merge our souls.
He looked into my eyes.
His eyes filled with such emotions and passion.
Like I was his sun, his moon.
Like I was the only thing existing in this world.
That without me, he shall die.
My heart melted along with my body.
Oh! I could feel his shaking breath.
He was so nervous and it made me love him more.
He said, “Do you really want this?”
And with that my heart gushed with pure adoration for him, it skipped a beat.
I closed my eyes and the cloud inside my head cleared.
Yes! I wanted this. I wanted him.
I was ready.
I opened my arms and jumped hoping that he would catch me because now there was no looking back.
And then he filled me.
He filled me both physically and metaphorically.
He filled my body with his length, my heart with love and my soul with pure bliss.
He completed me.
Like we were two pieces of the puzzle fit together, perfectly.
His eyes were filled with love and he worshiped my body with pure reverence.
My soul danced at the beat of our bodies entwined and thumping pulse.
And I thought —
“Oh! this is so perfect!!
We are so perfect.
Me and him.
Together.”
Made for each other in all the perfectly imperfect ways.
He touched my body.
He touched my soul and I knew…
I knew that he was all I have been looking for.
♡ XOXO ♡
© Fiona Crystal • Aug 26, 2015 | 05:37 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved