The Devil – DEPRESSION

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As its soon going to be Mental Illness Awareness Week, Oct. 5-11.2014 (also known as Mental Health Awareness Week).
I want to share something with you.

I want to take you through a dark and difficult journey. A journey of my life

If you are suffering from depression or if you know someone who is or if you want to know about depression then you should read this.

Depression…the devil entered my life somewhere around the time when I was 12 ..yes you read it right…when I was only 12. I want to tell you that anxiety and panic were already part of my life since I was a kid..

The depression made its presence full time in my life by the time I was 14 ..by then suicidal thoughts had surfaced.

I started working at the age of 18..and at 19 my depression was finaly officially diagnosed. And that is when the real distruction started.
My depression drugs made me so numb…I could not feel…I was a machine with no emotions… when I wanted to cry I had no tears…it was too frustrating..i wud just stare at the blank space….with empty eyes.
My anxiety level used to be so high that I always had this feeling that I am sinking away…that there is nothing right in this world..nothing gud…thought its better if this life ends.
My panic attacks were making me insane …once I almost died coz of the seizure from panic about 3 years ago.

Have been going through severe depression for almost 6 official years and a total 12 years now…on and off the drug all these 6 years…At one time, I was so addicted to the drug that I couldn’t function without it.

Then this year got diagnosed with severe Migraine, Phantosmia & mild Psychosis...but the drugs thankfully didn’t do as much harm..and now I am better and off them.

With all this depression, anxiety, panic, phantosmia, migraine & psychosis my life goes on.
I am a fighter and I don’t give up.
But its not easy…because every new day is a struggle..and in the middle of all the pain I have learned to feel better.

I just hope people take mental disorders like depression seriously…because NO its not some phase that goes away one day….its a sickness that stays with you forever & you become a ticking time bomb. The loneliness stays in your heart forever but no one can understand.

If you come across some one with a mental disorder don’t judge them, don’t ask them the reason because most of the time either its too many or none. Don’t ever tell them that its just a phase.
Just give them a cuddle and tell them that even though you donn understand..you are still there… that they are not alone. Love them the way they are 🙂

This is not just my journey alone….there are so many others who walk this lonely path and face such difficult times alone and frightened.I want to tell you that if I can do this then you can do it too. You are NOT alone.

“When you are mad, mad like this, you don’t know it. Reality is what you see. When what you see shifts, departing from anyone else’s reality, it’s still reality to you.” ~Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life

I LOVE YOU & I am always here if you ever need someone to talk to ❤

Love & Peace,

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