Broken

 “Perhaps no one loves the broken in her.” [….click to read the full post]

March 28 2015, 05:31 PM

He never really loved her.

Did he?
If he really did then he would have
cared for the despair she feels.
He would have felt her broken heart,
and seen the tears in her eyes.
He would have thrown away his pride,
and held her tight in his arms.
He would have soothed her sobs. 
And would have whispered in her ear –
“Darling, I am here and it is all going to be alright.”

Perhaps no one loves
the broken in her.

Sept 19, 2017 | 11:27 PM

Perhaps no one loves
the broken in her.

And so the ghost that lives with her
watches her struggle to sleep,
While the pillow soaks her tears
and muffled cries
every time she weeps.

XOXO ♡ 

© Fiona Crystal May 18, 2020 | 02:49 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Terminal Pain

“All this time I thought this crippling pain will go away!” [….click to read the full post]

All this time I thought this crippling pain will go away and I will be fine.

But the truth is it never does go away really.

I am just learning to live with it.
Smiling in the middle of the pain.
Crying in the middle of the night.

And then going back to sleep.

This is a life with terminal pain and an invisible sickness.

The pain that you experience 24*7 and the lack of awareness that others have around…makes life a living hell.
XOXO


© Fiona Crystal July 11, 2018 | 01:31 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Shackled feathers

“She was made of glitters.
But glitters that no more shine. She has been trapped in so much darkness that there is no light.” [….click to read the full post]

She was made of glitters.

But glitters that no more shine.

 
She has been trapped in so much darkness that there is no light.
No light to escape enough to reflect and shine.
 
Her spine was made for wings.
But the wings that no more remember how to fly.
For they have been closed and shackled for long.
Long enough that they are numb no matter how much she tried.
 
She had an itch inside her heart;
An itch to feel her feathers, to feel the wind touching against her cheeks.
An itch to swim in the clouds, to smoke the cold mist.
 
She is longing to take flight, and escape the walls that surround her.
But alas! her feet are bound by chains of the anchor,
that is lying inside the deep bed of a tempestuous ocean.
And no one dares to dive in and pull it back.
 
For she is tired she drops down on her knees.
A sob escapes her throat,
 

A teardrop is set free.

XOXO


© Fiona Crystal Nov 26, 2015 | 03:59 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

My Wings

“They took my wings away. They took it off my spine and sent me here.” [….click to read the full post]

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They took my wings away.
They took it off my spine and sent me here.
They were afraid that I would break the rules.
That I will fly in front of the mortals.
And then everyone would know!
Everyone would know that beings like us are real.
They were afraid of my impulse.

They despised my heaven filled soul — that could even see goodness in demons.

They were afraid of the depths of my mind — that could reach even the darkness in the Gods.

I was one of their different kind.
My feathers would turn black from white, and white from black in no time.
Faith would rush through my soul and fill my every star dust.
My prayers to our lord, would echo through the million skies.
Passion would flow through my veins.
And the thumping of my heart would deafen their ears.
I was Yin and Yang.
I was a devil and an angel.
I was their darkness and their light at the same time.
So they snatched my wings away and dropped me down.
And here I am free falling.
Still trying to make myself ready for the hit on my body and heart.

I am scared.

XOXO


© Fiona Crystal Feb 18, 2019 | 06:05 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

My Screams

“I will keep knocking till your ears bleed and you tear me apart.” [….click to read the full post]

Image attributes: © Fiona Crystal | IG: @fionadiaries

Put me out of this misery.
Turn that knife inside my heart and kill me.

Kill me.
Kill me and burn my existence.

My soul screams and withers.
My body is soaked with tears.
And my heart wails.

I want my wings back.

I will knock at your door.
And then you can judge me.
Just like everyone else did.

You either take pity of my miseries and grant me heaven.
Give me back my wings.

You either count my sins and throw me down in hell.
Let those demons torture me.

I will stand at your gate.
I will knock and knock.
I will knock till you ears bleed.

You act deaf when I cry your name for help.
I will keep knocking till your ears bleed and you tear me apart.

My soul screams and withers.
My body is soaked with tears.
And my heart wails.

I want my wings back!

Put me out of this misery.
Turn that knife inside my heart and kill me.

Kill me.
Kill me and burn my existence.

Because I can’t take it anymore.

“I will fade into the ice cold mist of stardust.
I will make my own wings.
I will float around in this never ending universe freely.
I will bring light. I will shine bright.”

Image result for god

Are you are just a myth?
Is there no heaven or hell?

I will just run this knife on my wrist.
I will paint myself red.

Dead.

XOXO


© Fiona Crystal July 11, 2016 | 12:56 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Tarot reading and Oracle guidance, Handwriting analysis, and Emotional help

Namaste! Experience the magic of Tarot Reading, Oracle Guidance, Handwriting Analysis, Emotional and Career Help. [….click to read the full post]

Tarot Reading Guidelines

Namaste! Do you have a questions and concerns about your future? Are you experiencing trouble making a decision? Always wanted to get your cards read by a witch just once? Experience the magic of Tarot Reading and Oracle Guidance.

 

These readings are Pay per service! You receive the service list and the rates in the email, once you send an email with your request.

Each reading includes:

  • Tarot card spread or Oracle reading: From Rider-Waite Tarot Deck/Crystal Visions Tarot Deck for one or more tarot readings. And Enchanted Oracle/Destiny’s Portal Oracle Deck for oracle reading/message for you.
  • A PDF document that includes your reading and a picture of the spread.
  • Explanations of each card, how they relate to your situation and how they can help you. Will include other informations about behaviour, attitude or plans that you need to adapt to or avoid in order to help your future self/short term fate based on your readings.
  • You can ask any question that’s on your mind. Some examples of things you can ask about: love, fears, relationships, education, work, self-improvement, dreams, or just ask for a general reading!

* Please know that Oracle is a guide. You do not need to ask a specific question about yourself if you are seeking an oracle reading/insight. Even a general reading will do. You can seek guidance and spiritual insights that can help you in the present, and the future.*

Enchanted Oracle Deck

How to get a reading:

  • Send me an email on fionadiaries@outlook.com. In your message, please include your name/nickname/initials, your question(s)/situations, and any other info you’d like to include, such as star signs, birth dates, or other background info.
  • Send payment. Once you send an e-mail to request a reading, you will receive a PDF with a list of Cards, readings and their specific rates. You need to reply on that email about which reading/readings you are interest it. You can send your payment to me via PayPal, or if you are located in India we can discuss other payment methods. Please wait until I confirm your slot to send payment.
  • Please be patient! My goal is to get your reading to you in two to four days from when I receive payment, but if there’s a delay for any reason, I will definitely let you know! I’ll send your reading as a PDF to the email you provided.
  • For graphology (handwriting analysis) you need to email me to tell me if you want signature analysis or handwriting analysis. I will send you the rate for the specific reading, and you can send me your writing sample accordingly. Please wait until I confirm your slot to send payment. I’ll send your reading as a PDF to the email you provided in two to four days from when I receive payment.

Do you have a questions and concerns about any current situation? Are you experiencing trouble making a decision? Is there anything, that you want someone to talk to, about? Do you need someone that can listen to you without judgement, or give you advise? If you want to be unburdened spiritually or emotionally you can request counselling or listening session (whichever you prefer). You can also get career advice is you are trouble looking for the right job, or during interviews etc. Experience the magic of listening.

 

Other services:

  • Advise/Counselling: 1 Question – Send me an email on fionadiaries@outlook.com with your name, your pronoun, and your location. I will send you the rate for the specific reading. If you agree to the rates, please reply mentioning that you are looking for advise or counselling on a specific situation, career related question, or emotional state. In your message, please include your name/nickname/initials, your question(s)/situations, and any other info you’d like to include. Please wait until I confirm your slot to send payment. I’ll send your reading as a PDF to the email you provided in two to four days from when I receive payment
  • If you seek a listening session, Send me an email on fionadiaries@outlook.com with your name, your pronoun, and your location. Once you send an e-mail to request a listening session, you need to wait if a slot is open. You will receive an email with the rate/charges.You can send your payment to me via PayPal, or if you are located in India we can discuss other payment methods. Please wait until I confirm your slot to send payment. We can then discuss our method of communication. Once a slot is provided to you, we can start the session. (Listening session is a type of session when you can talk to someone and find clarity after talking about things or issues that bothers you. (I have worked online in past as a certified listener to listen to and assist individuals, especially in high risk situations.)

 


Disclaimer: I won’t make any decisions for you. I will only provide the information you need to make your own decision because you must be the driving force in your own life! I am not a therapist, I will only listen to you and provide you spiritual and logical guidance. Legally, I must say that my readings are for entertainment purposes only. If you are in need of immediate help in regards to your psychological, mental or physical health, it is always best to seek medical help from trained medical staff.

♡ XOXO 

Email : fionadiaries@outlook.com • Paypal: paypal.me/fionacrystal
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’