Devil – Fiona Diaries

My Wings

“They took my wings away. They took it off my spine and sent me here.” [….click to read the full post]

April 13, 2020 Fiona CrystalLeave a comment

They took my wings away.

They took it off my spine and sent me here.

They were afraid that I would break the rules.

That I will fly in front of the mortals.

And then everyone would know!

Everyone would know that beings like us are real.

They were afraid of my impulse.

They despised my heaven filled soul — that could even see goodness in demons.

They were afraid of the depths of my mind — that could reach even the darkness in the Gods.

I was one of their different kind.

My feathers would turn black from white, and white from black in no time.

Faith would rush through my soul and fill my every star dust.

My prayers to our lord, would echo through the million skies.

Passion would flow through my veins.

And the thumping of my heart would deafen their ears.

I was Yin and Yang.

I was a devil and an angel.

I was their darkness and their light at the same time.

So they snatched my wings away and dropped me down.

And here I am free falling.

Still trying to make myself ready for the hit on my body and heart.

I am scared.

♡ XOXO ♡

Lost

“I have just got broken pieces.”

August 4, 2015February 18, 2019 Fiona CrystalLeave a comment

I really do not understand why you love me!

How can you?

There is nothing left in me that deserves love.

I have just got broken pieces.

Broken pieces to give to you.

There is nothing beautiful inside of me.

I am poison.

I am toxic and a lost cause.

♡ XOXO ♡

Her lips tremble

“Afraid to look into his eyes,
Her eyes hold a tempestuous storm of feelings and emotions brewing like high tides.”

July 25, 2015February 18, 2019 Fiona CrystalLeave a comment

She is afraid to come closer to him,

What if he discovers the devil in her and screams?

Reluctant in letting him hold her hand,

What if he sees the scars of cutting she is hiding under her wrist-band?

Afraid to look into his eyes,

Her eyes hold a tempestuous storm of feelings and emotions brewing like high tides.

She will not let him see the darkness that lurks inside.

And yet her eyes just cannot hide!

There is so much to tell him that it makes her desperate.

But knows that the words will later only make her regret.

Can’t make him understand what goes inside her troubled mind,

Tries…but her lips tremble as much she tries,

There is so much pain inside her, so much pain!

It overwhelms her, cripples her and makes her insane.

If only life was as short — as short as happiness is!

If only he could hold her tight — if only he would kiss!!

But she sobs herself to sleep…

Wondering if she will ever feel content and absolute bliss.

♡ XOXO ♡

I am Everything

March 22, 2015March 22, 2015 Fiona CrystalLeave a comment

I am sweet and sour,
I am wild and serene.
I am the wings of the birds,
I am the roots of the trees.

I am the carnations and the petunias adorning your garden,
I am the wild flowers in the forest growing near a hot spring.

I am the thorns of the roses,
I am the lotus growing among the weeds.

I am the high priestess in the sun temple showering her blessings,
I am the witch performing incantation in the middle of a forest clearing.

I am an open book in the library,
I am a diary full of secrets, locked up and no keys.

I am the sadness, emptiness, desperation and blank space,
I am the ecstasy, happiness and stirring music.

I am the wisdom of old age,
I am the innocence of a baby.

I am the pure love of a mother, cradling her child,
I am the amorous passion of lovers embracing.

I am a delicate flower,
I am a warrior princess.
I am fragile and endearing,
I am a fierce tigress.

I am black and white,
I am every color that exist.
I am angel and devil,
I am good and bad and everything in between

I am the placid water in the lake,
I am a tempest in the middle of the ocean.

I am sweet and sour,
I am wild and serene.
I am the wings of the birds,
I am the roots of the trees.

That Man

February 14, 2015February 18, 2015 Fiona Crystal4 Comments

Love, for me, was once a pious romantic emotion. Soft and serene. Poised and placid. Platonic. It was like a fragrance of a fresh garden flower. Soothing and sweet. Ever so innocent.

Then I met that man.

Everything changed the moment I fell in love with him. The serenity and poise long gone. Replaced with waves of wild emotions and mindless turbulence. It was like a wild flower. Sinful, yet beautiful. He became the center of my gravity and the pull oh! so strong. He was the devil and yet I would send away angels to be with him. He took me to such amorous heights and yet worshiped me with absolute reverence.He made me feel such unrestrained emotions, gripping my heart with such force yet I never felt so alive.

And that is when I realized, that is how I want love to be…challenging, tempestuous and sinfully amazing.

The man makes me feel such intensified emotions. Emotions that I didn’t even knew existed in me.
With just those eyes, he stops the world around me. With just a touch, he sets me on fire.
He make my heart stop and flutter, all at the same time. My personal heaven and hell.

Some people come in your life, take a space in your heart, leave some memories in your mind and then one day go away. Making you miss them.

But not that man.
The man walked right into my heart, imprinted all over my mind. And when he left, he locked my heart and threw away the keys. Destroying me for everyone else. Forever.

“The damn man clutters my mind, overwhelms my senses and puts my self control to shame.
Sensibility slips through my fingers like sand when I am near him.

He takes me to the highest high and then clouds my heart in one sudden swoop.

That no matter how intelligent I am or rational I try to be, his pull on me is just too strong.
And like a moth to the flame, I know I will end up burned.”- K. Bromberg (The Driven Triology)

They despised my heaven filled soul — that could even see goodness in demons.

They were afraid of the depths of my mind — that could reach even the darkness in the Gods.

I am scared.

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