You Call Me Weak

Written by @fionadiaries | Art attribute: Anastasia Suvorova

You came into my life with the sweetness of honey and promised me the comfort and respect that I deserved. To see me disrespected and in pain, you said it hurt you and made you so angry.

You promised me forever flowing emotions and a love that broke my old chains and swept me and drowned me and saved me into a relentless storm. All at the same time.

You promised me forever. And instead, you mess up my head. And you call me weak !?

No. You are.

At least I stand up to how I felt and continue to stay in the middle of that storm. Even when I am left alone sobbing sometimes, where you promised me that you will fight for us, you will stand by me. Yet you leave me alone.

It is not weak to try to hold on to love, despite everything. What is weak is to break the heart of the one person you promised exactly never to do so. To break the heart of one person who has loved you despite everything. And then do just that, and still assume that you deserve true love.

I am not weak. You are.

My chains are made of love, and eyes filled with a hope of a happy ending. Yours are made of lies and deceit.

A tongue wrapped with false promises, and actions causing me a never-ending heartbreak.

Maybe I am weak if love makes people just that. But you, my dearest what are you then?

Certainly not any stronger for lighting fire inside my heart, my mind, and my entire life. And then walking over the ashes like nothing so intense ever happened!

You criticize me for sticking up to the person I was with, in my past, despite everything that was fucked up. Funny thing is am I not doing exactly the same for you?

I stick to people when they say they love me. I fight for that love that fills my soul. I fight till I have nothing left inside of me, and then give some more. That’s what I do when I love. That’s what I am doing when I am loving you.
Giving you all.

That is what love is. Not just forever filled with happiness, but some tears too. And if I am weak to stay and fight, aren’t you a coward to run and hide?

…and you thought I live in denial; you call me weak!

No, my dearest. That…you are.


© Fiona Crystal July 11, 2018 | 01:55 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved