Take Accountability

Your suffering doesn’t end until you take full accountability of your actions. Karma doesn’t stop spinning just because you say — “sorry”. [….click to read the full post]

Image attribute: © Fiona Crystal • All rights reserved

Your suffering doesn’t end until you take full accountability of your actions.

Karma doesn’t stop spinning just because you say — “sorry”.
Your penance is for you to cleanse your soul, and not to avoid Karma.
Your repentance isn’t truly done unless you fully accept your actions and accept your punishment.
The guilt you may feel for your actions is nothing compared to the hurt and subsequent trauma you unleash on the other person.
So, the moment you start giving excuses for your actions or start to blame the victim/survivor of your hurt, the cycle of Karma backtracks and starts to spin against you again.
The universe will keep coming back at you until you learn your lesson and finish your punishment.

You can fool your conscience, but not the universe.


© Fiona Crystal Sept 10, 2019 | 06:28 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved


Click below to read other posts about a similar subject. (Hyperlinks) :

Forgiveness is a process

This post is about forgiveness and why it shouldn’t be an entitlement to ease the guilt of the person who caused the hurt, but a process for the person who was wronged instead. And if or not forgiveness is important/necessary at all, to heal!

Remains Of Burnt Bridges

This post is about moving on. It talks about the remnants of our past and the impact it continues to have in our lives. 

Someone who…

To be with someone, or not to be. [….click to read the full post]

Don’t be with someone who worships others,
but rarely compliments you.
Don’t be with someone you constantly make an effort for,
but rarely make an effort for you.
Don’t be with someone who finds time for others,
but rarely makes you their priority.
Don’t be with someone you keep loving more,
but they always make you feel lesser.Be with someone who doesn’t suck your self-esteem and happiness,
but instead, the folds between your legs.👄

© Fiona Crystal • Dec 06, 2018 | 06:00 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

It’s okay, if you aren’t

“I want you to know that it is okay to not be okay.” [….click to read the full post]

I want you to know that it is okay to not be okay.

It is okay to hold on to hope
or have no hope at all.

It is okay to want to run away from everything
or just want to lie in bed and not move at all.

It is okay to not forget your pain
or just block away the memories that hurt too much.

It is okay to forgive or not forgive at all.
It is okay to feel too much or not feel anything at all.

I want to tell you that it is okay,
as long as you are alive and breathing,
even when you just want to get off this world.
It is okay.

My darling, it is okay to not be okay.

Take all the time you want.
Take everything you need.

Just keep swimming,
Even on days you want to drown.

© Fiona Crystal • Nov 28, 2018 | 8:05 PM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Forgiveness is a process

“At the end of the day we all look to finally make peace with our past.” [….click to read the full post]

Forgiveness is a process.

I personally don’t believe in forgiveness, I believe in accountability.
But for some people, forgiveness is an important step towards closure. Which is okay too. At the end of the day, we all look to finally make peace with our past.

And once the person – that has caused the hurt – takes genuine accountability — that is the beginning of our healing. It is then we decide if the relationship is worthy of healing too. However, keep in mind — they don‘t get to choose when we should stop bringing up the past, or how long it takes for us to finally be okay with them. Because they did NOT think of us when making those choices of consciously hurting us.

Too many times in the pursuit of closure, we end up kicking up settled specks of dust and reopening old wounds. Because that road leads us to revisit the past. So then is giving forgiveness to the person, worth hurting your own soul all over again?

“Forgiveness is a process. Yet we don’t always need to forgive, but simply make peace with our past. So we can eventually move on.”

I feel that forgiveness happens in our own unique way. We just need to allow ourselves the time. And people who caused us the pain, shouldn’t have the power to berate us for reminding them of something they did. Instead, they would be empathetic and apologetic that we are reliving the pain caused by them.

REMEMBER — They are responsible for our pain, but we are not responsible for their guilt. And if the person doesn’t respect your time to heal, that shows that the person isn’t truly sorry after all!

My next article is about the complicated subject of ‘Moving on’. Click here to read:

Remains Of Burnt Bridges


© Fiona Crystal Feb 18, 2018 | 11:55 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved

Moh-Maya : All attachments are illusion

“All attachments are illusion” [….click to read the full post]

|| सब मोह – माया है || 🧘🏻
‘All attachments are illusion.’  🕉 

Everything in this world is temporary.
Even your body is not permanent.

One must not attach too much to the materialistic world.
Always remember the ultimate reality of the supreme power, that which is permanent.
The ultimate power that creates, sustains and destroys, is the only eternal truth.

You are not your body.
You are soul, an eternal consciousness.

Aim for mokṣa. (liberation)
Re-invent yourself.
Think over and beyond this life.
Break away from this saṃsāra. (world)
Allow your consciousness to rise above the weight of this world.

Recognize your soul’s journey.
Collect good Karma.
Learn from your experiences,
Soak every moment of it.
But don’t allow it to hold you back.

Worldly things are moh-maya.
They are simply woven around you, for the sole purpose of distraction.
Let your soul be free from the continuous cycle of death and rebirth.

Don’t worry and remember child,
Let go • Rise above • Ascend 

“Nothing is permanent, not even your pain; and not even this world. No. not even you. The only thing permanent is your soul. Let go of that weight around you, that is drowning you. Empower yourself with the experiences that have grown inside of you. Rise above your attachments and uplift your soul. Because all attachments are illusion.”

— Moh = Attachment ✿ Maya = Illusion
Moh-Maya (मोह – माया) is referred to as an extremely complex cycle that illudes the soul to not see the bigger picture of its existence.
Attachment to illusion = That all beings are attached to an illusion.
The illusion of attachment = That all beings are under the illusion that the attachment is real.

Saṃsāra (संसार)= “wandering through, flowing on aimlessly”
The soul is constantly circling through multiverses as there is no immediate heaven or hell because people do not live an equally moral or immoral life. Therefore, the soul continues to be born and reborn in various realms and forms until it finally accumulates all the experiences that make it ready to ascend and achieve the ultimate liberation.

Karma (कर्म) = Causality. The spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect). Karma further determines the next journey for the soul and weaves the world around it accordingly. For example in Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, one of the oldest upanishadic scriptures of Hinduism (700 BCE), at 4.4.5-6 it states:
“Now as a soul is like this or like that,
according as it acts and according as it behaves, so will it be;
a soul of good acts will become good, a soul of bad acts, bad;
it becomes pure by pure deeds, bad by bad deeds;
And here they say that a soul consists of desires,
and as is its desire, so is its will;
and as is its will, so is its deed;
and whatever deed it does, that it will reap.”

Mokṣa (मोक्ष) = The ultimate emancipation, enlightenment, liberation, and release from the Saṃsāra. And finally, become one again with the supreme consciousness of the one true power.
Unlike other religion, to question ones’ existence and that of the supreme power in the ancient Hindu Sanatan Dharam i.e. Hinduism is the first step that a soul takes to wake up and look beyond the illusions of ‘the perceived reality’. It is its initiation towards the final ascension from the world.


© Fiona Crystal Jan 1, 2019 | 9:22 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved


“Come back to me. Bas ek aarzoo hai ye.” [….click to read the full post]

SAUDADE – (n.) The deep emotional state of profound melancholic longing for the one that was deeply loved and then lost, and knowing that they might never return; “the love that remains. [Portuguese]

Kabhi panne bhar jaate thein pyaar bhare syahi se aap ke,
Ab toh dhaai akhshar ke khat bhi aap humein likhte nahi.

Keh dena tha ki aap ko humse pyaar nahi ab.
Par ye kya baat hui…humein yun chhor diya aap ne beech majdhaar mein.

Khata hui kya humse jo ye sila de rahein hain aap…?
Khata hui kya humse jo ye sila de rahein hain aap?

Jo joda tha aap ne waadein pyaar ka kar ke,
Maine aaj woh dil tod diya aap ke intzaar mein.

Fir kareeb aaiye, humein bas aap chahiye,
Gar jo pyaar ho agar ab bhi aap ke dil mein…
Gar jo pyaar ho agar ab bhi aap ke dil mein,
Aa ke chum lein humein bas ek aarzoo hai ye.

Once you filled the papers with the ink of your love,
Now you don’t even write me letters with just those three magical words.

If you stopped loving me, you should have confessed,
But you left me hanging in the middle instead!

What did I do? What are you punishing me for?
What did I do? What are you punishing me for?

This heart you made whole with promises of forever,
It trembled and shattered in pieces just waiting for you.

And if you still have that love in your heart…
If you really have that love in your heart,

Come back to me, I long for your kiss.
You are all I want, please just come back to me.

“Come back to me. Bas ek aarzoo hai ye.”

And so my dearly beloved,

Come back to me. Because you are all I long for. 💔 This love that remains inside of me, haunts me forever. My every waking hour is occupied with melancholy. And even in dreams, I look for you. My heart doesn’t want to believe that it was all for nothing. And I never once stopped loving you, no matter how much time passes by. I just know deep down you still love me too. Or maybe I am wrong, so just tell me the truth. All I want is for you to come back to me. Come back and never leave. Stay for the rest of both our lives, till we live. ❤


© Fiona CrystalOct 2, 2018 | 05:20 AM
Fiona Diaries — ‘Heartbeats and Wild Things’ • All rights reserved