It hurts

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I dream of your eyes..your beautiful smile knowing very well that your smile is not for me but I just can’t ….
I am so broken…I am so useless. I am so much in love with you
I love you so much that it hurts

I always feel your hand in my hair..your eyes on me..your lips on mine. I donno what is real..what is a dream and what are just memories.
Memories…that haunt me when I sleep..drug my dreams and make me feel fulfilled. Memories…that sting when I open my eyes and look up at the empty space. Memories of you telling me how much you care for me. And memories of you breaking me and going out of the door..leaving me crying and begging for you to stop
I love you so much that it hurts

I was so naive…I was so happy and confused and bewildered in love with you..but I never wanted anything from you…All I wanted was you to understand me..nothing more
Its all my fault..all my fault that I let myself love you..that I told you how much you mean to me..let you near me..and let you break me apart
There is nothing left inside me..except the memories playing again and again..And there is nothing left for me to feel…except the longing and the pain….so much pain

You can tear me apart..you can rip me to pieces..you can break me down..you can laugh at my pain…but I will never stop loving you

I love you so much that it hurts
I will never forgive myself for it
Coz this love is a curse

Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

fiona_3.png ©Princess Fiona Crystal *All rights reserved. The Material not to be copied or distributed without permission

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