Someone wake me up

lonely,sleepalone,girl,photo,bed,legs-f28738fe8fe4d42ec4e82e358ed1b22c_h

I close my eyes and drift off
I see darkness everywhere ..deep valleys
Standing alone…I am in the middle of nowhere.

Then I feel it..that sharp pain in my heart
That moment when its like the life has been sucked out of your body
When you are so shocked and surprised, angry and broken at the same time.
Like you just got a sucker punch and you are now lying on the ground
That moment when life seems meaningless
When you respect life but you think of all the possible ways to end it
I can feel these painful feelings now.

Love…what is it?
Its a big bullshit…I am done..I am over it
Its a fools game that people play to use each other
Love what is it?

When all you have done is tried..tried hard to be a better person but no, it doesnt matter.
You have made mistakes and people are going to make you remember it every single day…..They are going to kill you with every ticking of the clock….
But you have no right to get hurt…you have to bear all the physical and emotional pain.. Rude words and abuse .. and you have to be silent, listen to it everyday…if you say anything then they will get hurt.
But you..yes I am talking about you..you don’t get hurt…your tears are useless.You are not a human after all.

Oh god! Someone get me out of this mess
Oh god! Someone?
Wake me up from this nightmare
My mind is going insane

You have no right to be a better person..I repeat ..no right.
Why didnt you just leave ? You fool…Why did you try
What did you get out of it?

They talk about love and getting old…they talk about every romantic thing in the world but then you realize they are only there for your physical aspects
And you give them your mind, your happiness….every inch of your soul…but still thats not enough..they want your physical being and when they won’t get it anymore… they will go

You mend a broken relation for the person you love..who has promised to be with you but at the best possible opportunity they leave..
And you are the one who is bad…other people don’t make mistakes… they do you a favour

Oh god! Someone get me out of this mess
Oh god! Someone?
Wake me up from this nightmare
My mind is going insane

Shake off your little feathers dear girl..shake it off…because with whom you made plans everyday to fly away with.. made plans for a better future together has left you in dispair….you have been used….now when they can’t use you anymore…they have broken all promises…told you lies…showed you dreams..made you cry…n left you. Left you in a time when you are helpless and alone..when you can’t fight it alone.

When you try to leave the mess you are an abomination
When they do it..they are doing you a favour

Yes you have made mistakes and gave them pain..but you accept it and you are sorry for it everyday….you are human..you make mistakes when you are young and stupid….you are paying for it every moment..you are trying everyday…..but they can abuse you..hit you everyday but its your mistake to tell them to stop…that you are not going to take it anymore….
What right you have…
How can you? How dare you?
Writh in pain and die you fool.

Doesn’t matter….i tell you..your pain doesn’t matter
They wont forget it and they will make you remember it everyday.

But you have to be quite….just shut up and listen
Shake of your pretty little feathers I tell you…you belong to this hell and you are not going anywhere.

Oh god! Someone get me out of this mess
Oh god! Someone?
Wake me up from this nightmare
My mind is going insane

What have I done? All I did was try..and it doesn’t matter to anyone

Just break down and cry,
The tears are your only escape,
Your smiles are all lies,
drag the blade across your skin,
Don’t scream out just die,
No one is here to listen.

I am awake..this is no dream
This can’t be happening
Oh! I am just going crazy
I can feel the thumping of my heart

Oh! my heart is shattered beyond repair
I cry tears of blood
Broken pieces of my wings are scattered everywhere.

You are happily watching me cry?
Oh! May you live long..really long and watch me die..hope that makes you happy..brings back your smile

 ©Fiona Crystal *All rights reserved. The Material not to be copied or distributed without permission

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